Those of you cocooned in some anti World Cup bubble may have missed the furore that has surrounded the 4cm of metatarsal in the left foot a 19-year-old scouse striker, Wayne Rooney.
If so, here's a brief update. In April, the poor fella was the victim of a late challenge and broke his foot. The country proceeded to plunge in apoplectic meltdown, claiming that his nimble feet were the only way that England were ever going to win this year's World Cup. Cue overblown newspaper headlines, bizarre websites devoted to healing processes and a four million per cent increase in the number of newborn children named Wayne.
The latest twist in this saga is that young Rooney actually might make the squad after all. In fact he told England manger Sven Goran-Erikksson today that he is "300% sure he will make it." So to join in all the fun here are a few other things that we are '300% sure' about:
The ham in my sandwich today was definitely from Wiltshire
Rubiks Cubes are hard
Red Bull gives you wings
'Celebrity' anything will always be shit
Seedless grapes are the future
Hayfever sucks
We all want to be in the pub right now