Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Cover Boy

This was sent to us by Steven Campbell. He's the father of Tiny Woods Reece Matthew Campbell Murphy (as his mother emphatically informed us) who featured in December's GolfPunk. The wee man obviously has the attitude of someone who's determined to get to the top and it seems his dad has his eyes on our Creative Director's job.

If you've got any amusing stories or photos send them to website@kynpublishing and you could find yourself beamed across the world.


For when golf isn't enough | Golf Punks | Your funnies
11/29/2005 5:43:47 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Aussie rules

A leading Australian golf official has spoken out against a culture of verbal abuse among the Australian professional ranks.
Colin Phillips, the retiring Australian Open chief organiser, critcised the attitude of some players and claimed that they were arrogant.
"I think the tour has got to clean up its act," he said. "It's not doing the game a lot of good. I think the players need to take a different attitude."
Phillips was insulted by Wayne O'Grady at the Australian Open last week.
He declined to repeat what exactly was said to him.
We thought this was all a bit strange so we asked a close source, who wishes to remain anonymous, to go and speak to some Australian professionals. Below is the transcript of the conversation.

Source: 'So fellas, do you think that you swear to much on course?'
Pros: 'Nah, no f**king way mate. That t**t is talking out his a**e. My mam watches me on the bl**ding tele so there's no f**king way I'd let her catch me effin and blinding.'
Source: 'What about the allegations of abusing officials?'
Pros: 'Again that's complete b****cks. I'll tell you what, if they could pull their fingers out in the f**king first place then there'd be no need to shout at them. I mean they're all a bunch of trussed up w****ers anyway. Complete t****ers.
Source: 'What about the example you're settting to younger generations?'
Pros: 'Well that's just b**ls**t and I'll prove it. Just the other day I was practising on the range and a bunch of kiddies came and complimented me on my game.
Source: 'Really? What did they say?
Pros: 'One of them goes, 'f***king awesome shot mate. That went f**king miles,' and I thought to myself 'yeah mate, it f**king did. Cheers little fella.'

Bush fire


Some of this conversation might be made up.
For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/29/2005 5:27:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, November 28, 2005
Funk strips the skins

Hang on a second. Fred Funk goes out for 36 holes, has a permanent 100 watt grin plastered across his face for the entire time, dresses up as a woman for a few holes, gets outdriven by a girl (not really a big deal when that particular girl happens to be Annika Sorenstam, one of the greatest women golfers ever) and sinks a half million dollar birdie putt on the last to take home a cheque a few bucks short of a cool million.

Who says this sport is for boring old men?


'I've been dying to do this all year'

Golf News
11/28/2005 11:46:54 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Hand of Rob

Robert Allenby defied an injured hand and tough conditions to win the Australian Open for a second time in Melbourne.
The Aussie golfer shot a five-over 77 but still managed to hold on to his lead and beat fellow Australians John Senden, Nick O'Hern and Paul Sheehan by one shot.
He sustained a hand injury during Saturday's third round and struggled through strong winds in the final round to be at the turn in three-over (39).
Allenby said: "I was too scared to commit to shots, especially in those first five or six holes. But once I was four over after about six holes, I pretty much said 'I've got to do something. I've got to forget about the hand and just go and play golf'."
True to his word he only had two more bogies down the back nine and made par at the last to secure victory.
Staunch work Rob.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/28/2005 11:34:17 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Casey storms to victory

Huge congratulations to Paul Casey who won the China Open after birding the first sudden-death play off hole to pip compatriot Oliver Wilson.
Casey seemed to be just out of the running all week after a fairly up and down three rounds, but he stormed up the leaderboard with a magical seven-under 65 to tie with Wilson on 13-under par after 72 holes.
Wilson looked to have sown up victory after four straight birdies from the 12th hole but a bogey at the 17th meant that he had to reurn to the par-five eighteenth for a two man play-off witth Casey.
Casey found the green in two shots and his 25ft eagle putt just slipped past the hole leaving him a tap-in birdie. Wilson's approach found the greenside bunker and he could only get up and down for a six.
Casey said that he was pleased with his performance and the way in which he battled through to win.
GolfPunk have had several friendly meetings with Paul and it's great to see him playing so well. We hope he can continue this form into the majors next year.
He now lies second on the European Order of Merit and is seventh in the Ryder Cup rankings for the event at the K Club, Ireland next September.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/28/2005 11:20:25 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, November 25, 2005
Gobbledegook

Continuing our guided tour around the wacky world of Mother Nature, our friends at boingboing.net have come across an amusing article about turkeys in the Chicago Tribune.

Tom turkeys in suburban woods can be 4 feet tall, weigh 25 pounds and run 20 miles per hour for short bursts. Mr. Cardoza advises people to show the birds who's boss. One tip is to carry an umbrella to poke at the turkey. Ms. Huckery tells people to "get your broom and swat the turkey away." Other tips for discouraging turkeys include spraying them with a garden hose, yelling and banging pots and pans, and having a dog in the backyard.


'Cluck off'

Read more at boingboing.net
For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/25/2005 11:34:40 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Golf in Brazil

Artic winds sweeping across the country mean that we have entered a period of what meterologists call 'f***ing freezing'. As we pull our duffel coats tight to the chin and don fingerless gloves until the Spring thoughts turn to sunnier climes. Brazil, for example, is just entering that time of year when it is state regulations to wear no more than 20cm of clothing over your entire body. With that in mind we've found this cracking blog entry on the Have Golf will Travel website thaat will sate your appetite.

Sao Paulo - the heart of industrial, commercial and entrepreneurial Brazil - is also the main reference for Brazilian golf. Sao Paulo has more golf clubs and players than the rest of Brazil put together. So, if you are planning a tourist or business trip to Sao Paulo, consider using one of its many golf greens. Any reputed hotel will give you the answers you may need for access to local greens. But... just because Sao Paulo is prominent in the Brazilian golf panorama doesn’t mean that there aren’t other opportunities to play. The number of Brazilian golf greens is increasing rapidly. You can even play golf in the middle of the Amazon basin. If interested in grasping the grandeur of the immense rainforest (without forgetting the golf), think of going to Manaus, an unexpected city, born from industrial dreams, but more and more, a big travel hub to the surrounding rainforest. Once there, besides local cruises on the river and visits to the ecological parks, the exploration of forest treks, or visits to the «caboclos» settlements, there is also an opportunity to play golf.

To read the full article click on the link: Have Golf Will Travel
For when golf isn't enough
11/25/2005 11:27:34 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:06:27 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:05:39 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:02:43 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, November 24, 2005
GolfPunk Moving Day

We are moving. After 17 months it seems we've outgrown GP Towers and have decided to flee the nest to a bigger, better and brighter home. Well, we're actually moving into the office next door but the windows are bigger.
Not only that, we decided that we'd move everything ourselves and on production day as well (our busiest day of the month). How clever are we?
The theory is that if we've been able to produce all GolfPunk's golfing goodness in our cramped, crowded offices then imagine what we'll be able to do in our new gaff.
Office cricket, pitch and putt, paper aeroplane competitions and loads of room to put free bags of Haribo. Just imagine.
Below are some pics of us hard at work.


'I shall not, I shall not be moved'


'Any ideas Dan?'
'Nah'


'Thief!'
For when golf isn't enough | Golf News | Golf Punks | Your funnies
11/24/2005 4:22:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Alfedsson named as Solheim Cup captain

Helen Alfredsson has been named captain of Europe's Solheim Cup team for it's attempt to win back the trophy in Sweden, 2007.
The 40-year-old will be on home territory at the 10th match against the US held at Halmstad GolfKlubb from 14-16 September 2007.
"To be the European captain at home, back in my own country and so close to where I grew up, really is an overwhelming feeling," said Alfredsson, who has amassed a 10-12-2 personal record in the event.
"I have so many great memories from The Solheim Cup and to be chosen is such a great honor," she added.
Alfredsson has made seven consecutive appearances in the Solheim Cup since making her debut in 1990, the inaugural edition of the transatlantic contest. "As a captain, I aim to have a positive attitude, put some great pairings together and above all, to have fun," said Alfredsson.


'I only entered for a laugh'


Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/24/2005 2:25:14 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Woods in PGA Grand Slam.

'Beware the ailing golfer' prophesied Phil Mickelson when asked about the chances of Tiger Woods being hampered by his ankle and stomach injuries.
Perhaps he should jack in the golf trade and start afresh as a psychic after his predictions came true and Woods stormed to a seven shot victory at the PGA Grand Slam of Golf.
Woods started the day with a three-shot lead and added a sparkling 64 to his first round 67 to completely obliterate the four-man field.
USPGA champion Phil Mickelson was the nearest competitor at five-under after rounds of 70 and 68.
Michael Campbell finished in third at level par and Vijay Singh was one shot further back.
Woods has now won this event six times in seven appearances, having previously won in 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2002.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/24/2005 1:43:03 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Monty gets OBE

Colin Montgomerie was in rather plush surroundings yesterday as he went to Buckingham palce to collect his OBE.
The honour was given to him by Prince Charles in recognition of his contribution as part of the victorious European Ryder Cup team in 2004.
The 42-year-old Scotsman dedicated his award to his team-mates who steered Europe to a nine and a half point win.
It caps off a fantastic year for Monty who had a sparkling return to form. He captured his eighth Order of Merit title, his first since 2000. He also had 13 top ten finishes including a sterling second place at the British Open in St Andrews and victory at the dunhill links championship.
He is currently 33/1 to be the next European to win a major, although he is yet to break his duck in these events.


Golf News | Golf Punks
11/24/2005 1:23:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Golf's Royal Trophy European picks made

Ian Woosnam and Nick Faldo have been chosen as the captain's picks for the European team in next year's Royal Trophy in Asia.
Captain Seve Ballesteros selected the two to play alongside David Howell and Paul McGinley in the Ryder-Cup style event at Bangkok's Amata Spring Country Club in January.
Golf News
11/23/2005 4:57:42 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Do you like your shaft bendy or stiff?

The age old debate about what shaft to use rumbles on and here is a useful guide if you need some extra information.
The two most important parts of the golf club which can spell the difference between winning and losing are the head and the shaft. The shaft of the golf club connects the grip to the head. Most modern golf club shafts are made of either steel or graphite.
Most manufacturers rate their shafts in one of six degrees of stiffness. From least to most stiff these are: Ladies (L); Seniors (A); Regular (R); Firm (F); Extra Firm (X); and Stiff (S).
Most golfers prefer a shaft that is stiffer, and manufacturers can only oblige. If you make the shaft super stiff, however, you can begin to affect distance and strength negatively.
Then there’s the difference between steel and graphite golf shafts. Generally, if you have back problems or not very confident with the strength of your swing or drive, you should stick with the graphite variety.

Click on link for more: http://www.golf-for-golfers.com/
Tips and Swing thoughts
11/23/2005 12:16:32 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
PGA Grand Slam

Tiger Woods took a commanding three-shot lead at the halfway point of the PGA Grand Slam of Golf in Hawaii.
Woods, who only confirmed his entry two days ago after battling stomach and ankle problems, shot a solid 67.
He leads USPGA champion, Phil Mickelson, who finished with back to back bogies to fall away from the lead.
New Zealand's Michael Campbell, the US Open winner, shot 73 with Fiji's Vijay Singh, the world number two, on 75.
Mickelson said: "There's an old saying, 'Beware of the ailing golfer'. And whenever he's complaining, we know we're in trouble."
It was New Zealander Michael Campbell's debut in the event after his victory in the US Open in June.
Vijay Singh, who recceived an invitation after South African Retief Goosen pulled out of the event, shot a disappointing 75, which included a horendous quadruple bogey seven at the par-three 11th.
Golf News
11/23/2005 12:12:10 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Tuesday, November 22, 2005
T..t.t...t..trip up a penguin

'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones... You alright Geoff?'

'Shut it'
'Moron'

 

 


For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/22/2005 4:42:43 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Pity's Corner

Saw this and felt sorry for our Canadian friend so we thought we'd give his self esteem a little boost.

I'm guilty of having become addicted to Golfobserver.com, the cool website that plucks golf news from all over and plugs it together on one site. Sure, they still don't acknowledge that my columns exist anywhere on the web (apparently they are only interested in Lorne Rubenstein's writing from Canada!), but the site is a valuable resource nonetheless.

To massage his ego click on the Going for the Green link on our Blogroll.
Golf Punks
11/22/2005 4:29:29 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, November 21, 2005
How to grip the club

Don't say we never do anything for ya

Today, I found out I’ve been holding the golf club the wrong way.Since I was unaware of the fact that I was holding the golf clubs wrong, I would like to share what I found out with all of you. I feel like such an idiot. Everytime I would take hold and grip the club, I would do so in the palm of my hand. Evidently as you grip the golf club, you’re supposed to do so gripping it with your fingers. Hopefully using this technique will improve my game.
Too bad the golf season is over for now and I can’t try out this techinque until next year.


For full guide click on the link: http://www.beginnergolfing.com/golf/
Tips and Swing thoughts
11/21/2005 2:42:52 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Lock 'em in irons

A $1,000 reward has been put up to help catch a vandal who damaged the 16th green of the new Callippe Preserve golf course, California.
Someone drove onto the green between Wednesday night and Thursday morning leaving deep tyre tracks.
A local golfer, Michael Magnano, is raising money to contribute to the reward pot or to the cost of repairing the green.
Police said the repairs may cost $25,000 to $30,000, and the city immediately offered a $1,000 reward for anyone giving information that could lead to an arrest.
So if anyone knows any information please get in touch and let us know and we will contact the correct authorities and take the reward cash. Ta
For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/21/2005 11:24:37 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wales win World Cup

Welsh duo Bradley Dredge and Stephen Dodd won the WGC World Cup after the final round was abandoned.
Heavy rain and high winds forced organisers to call off the final day's play and victory was awarded to the round three leaders.
The pair collected £400,000 each after leading by two shots from England's Luke Donald and Davied Howell and Swedish duo Niclas Fasth and Henrik Stenson at the close of play on Saturday.
France were fourth, while Denmark rounded off the top five.
It was the second World Cup triumph for Wales, who also won in Hawaii in 1987 with Ian Woosnam and David Llewellyn.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/21/2005 11:11:23 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Tiger Hobbles to Victory

A birdie at the fourth play-off hole secured a seventh victory of the year for Tiger Woods in the Dunlop Phoenix, Japan.
The American defeated Japan's Kaname Yokoo after Yokoo missed a 12-foot birdie putt at the par-five 18th.
The pair finished tied at eight-under through 72 holes. Woods shot a final round of 71 to Yokoo's 69.
His victory was made all the more remarkable after he twisted his ankle escaping from the trees down the first play-off hole.
He limped through his remaining play-off holes, making birdie on each of them.
Woods said his ankle has been bothering him for about a month and that the cold weather in Japan made it worse.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/21/2005 11:01:10 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Super Swede wins again

Annika Sorenstam successfully defended her ADT title to capture her tenth victory of the season at the ADT Championship in Palm Beach.
Her three-under-par round of 69 was enough to see off fellow Swede Lisalotte Neumann and win the title for a fourth time.
Sorenstam started the day with a one shot advantage over the field but managed to create some distance early on and never looked like making a mistake.
The Swede now has 66 LPGA victories and has earned over $2.5 million this season. She is now just 22 wins short of breaking the LPGA record held by Katie Whitworth.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/21/2005 10:45:22 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, November 18, 2005
What a load of pony

Not the ponies! Nooooooooo!

Consumer watchdog World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H) have published a list of the top ten dangerous items to look out for this Christmas. The organisation try and guarantee the safety of children all around the world by making sure that they are not allowed any fun whatsoever. Speaking as a generation that got its kicks from setting fire to hay bales and rolling them down hills or stuffing tennis balls full of devil bangers this list seems fairly timid.

W.A.T.C.H.'s annual "10 Worst Toys" list nominates representative toys with the potential to cause childhood injuries, or even death. W.A.T.C.H.'s annual "Toy Conference" has generated extensive national press and media coverage. Because of these efforts, and the positive response from both the media and the public, there have been many toy and product design changes. Founder Edward M. Swartz and W.A.T.C.H. have fearlessly exposed potentially dangerous toys to the general public. As a result, children’s lives have been saved.

Click on the link for the full list: http://www.toysafety.org/worstToyList_index.html


For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/18/2005 1:35:41 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Keane exits Man Utd

Manchester United has today reached agreement with Roy Keane for Roy to leave the Club with immediate effect.
The agreement allows Roy to sign a long term deal with another club to enable him to secure his playing career beyond what would have been the end of his contract at United in the summer.

For full details click on the link: www.manutd.com


Aaahh, diddums.

For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/18/2005 1:12:43 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
World Cup reports

English duo, Luke Donald and David Howell stormed into the lead at the World Cup of Golf in the Algarve.
The pair shot a barn-storming 13-under-par total of 59, which included eleven birdies and an eagle.
They were ten-under-par stood on the eleventh tee but couldn't carry the momentum all the way home and only added three more birdies down the final stretch.
India and Australia are the nearest challengers. Both countries carded rounds of 12-under-par.
The low scores are attributed to the tournament format, which alternates between better-ball and foursomes over four days. Half of the 24 teams in the field carded scores of 64 or better.
Welsh duo Bradley Dredge and Stephen Dodd are poised at 11 under while Scotland and Ireland posted seven underand five under respectively.
Golf News
11/18/2005 12:12:58 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


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