Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Shikegi Maruyama scores for one lucky man

Shigeki Maruyama smiles like a man who wins the lottery every day and radiates such warmth that you imagine even the flowers fawn to his presence. It is normally for his golfing prowess, however, that 'Smiley' is renowned and not, as one internet user has stated, the effect he has on other people's sex life.
Our researchers at GolfPunk Towers have stumbled across this post in which one fella describes his girlfriend's obsession with the amiable Japanese pro.
It seems that she gets her best sexual kicks when fantasising about him.
She is so enamoured that on occasion she gets a friend to dress-up as Shigeki and join in on the couple's love-making sessions, offering hints and tips to help improve their performance.
Boyfriend Sayaad isn't intimidated by the 5ft7" golfer, however, on the contrary he cannot get enough. It seems that his girlfriend's bedroom performance is mirrored by Shikegi's on-course performances so he is hanging all his hopes and prayers on a fantastic 2006 for him.
That would bring a smile to his face.
Below are some of our favourite snippets but click on the link if you want to read the whole story.

"He is only about 170 centimeters tall and weighs about 13 stone. I tell this to my girlfriend when she sees him play and she responds that he may not be as large as me, but he knows how to wield his club and has an impressive swing."

"When we are finished, she will ask Jung to score how we did. He will then tell us whether it was a double eagle, eagle, birdie, par, bogey or double bogey. Sometimes, when it has gone exceptionally well, Jung will call out "hole in one!" and he will have a big smile on his face. "
http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/discussion/maruyama-shigeki/433513/


Shikegi Maruyama


For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
12/7/2005 5:12:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Tuesday, December 06, 2005
US Q-School qualifiers

Hooked on golf have already posted the full list of qualifiers from the US PGA Tour Q-School. European Tour veteran Alex Cejka, received his card and if you go to Hooked on golf link you can see ther full list of hopefuls for next year.

The “most grueling event in golf” is over and we have 32 graduates who get their PGA Tour card for 2006. Here they are, what they shot, and their winnings for the event: Medalist John Holmes 69-69-68-67-66-69–408 (24-under) $50,000 2 Alex Cejka 73-66-68-70-66-68—411 (21-under) $40,000 T3 Nick Thompson 74-67-69-64-69-70—413 (19-under) $32,500 T3 D.A. Points 69-69-68-66-67-74—413 (19-under) $32,500 T5 Tom Byrum 67-73-68-65-72-70—415 (17-under) $26,250 T5 Nick Watney 72-71-66-68-69-69—415 (17-under) $26,250 T7 Daisuke Maruyama 70-71-74-68-65-68—416 (16-under) $25,000 T7 Michael Allen 64-68-71-69-70-74—416 (16-under) $25,000 T9 Hunter Mahan 70-74-72-66-67-68—417 (15-under) $25,000 T9 Will MacKenzie 71-73-68-69-67-69—417 (15-under) $25,000 T9 Robert Garrigus 68-71-70-67-71-70—417 (
Golf News
12/6/2005 5:53:36 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
World Cup Seeding drawn

Seeding for the 2006 Football World Cup in Germany were made today. The following sides were placed in the top group:
England
Germany
Brazil
Argentina
France
Italy
Spain
Mexico

These teams will not meet each other in the group stages when the draw is made on Friday.
For when golf isn't enough
12/6/2005 1:21:21 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Ladies 2006 European Schedule announced

The Ladies European Tour has announced an increased schedule and prize fund for 2006.
The Tour will now incorporate 19 events across three continents, which includes one new event, the €500,000 Deutsche Bank Ladies Swiss Open, and eight new venues.
The Tour's Executive Director Alexandra Armas said: “We are tremendously excited about all of the events planned for 2006 and we look forward to revealing more details as prospective partners join the Tour over the coming months.”
The women's game has seen increased interest this year with the progress of new starlets Michelle Wie and Paula Creamer as well as the R&A announcement that women would be able to qualify for the men's British Open this year.
The next season begins with the Women’s World Cup of Golf at the Gary Player Country Club, Sun City Resort, South Africa, from January 20th-22nd.
Golf News | Women's Golf news
12/6/2005 10:44:20 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, December 05, 2005
'Dave is great' say European Tour

David Howell has been named The European Tour Golfer of the Month for November for being brilliant and beating Tiger at the HSBC Champions tournament.
He's in the Players Lounge right now telling everyone how wonderful he is. Just click on the 'Quick Liveners' button to see him.
Golf News | Golf Punks
12/5/2005 3:48:24 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Monty wins in Hong Kong

Colin Montgomerie charged into the world's top ten following his victory at the Hong Kong Open on Sunday.
The Scot moved into ninth in the rankings after winning in dramatic fashion by one-shot from South African James Kingston.
Kingston led Montgomerie by two shots with three holes to play but a bogey at 16 and a heart-breaking double bogey on the last hole handed the tournament to Monty.
Bizarrely he lost the tournament in 2004 to Miguel Angel Jimenez when he bogeyed the last hole.
"We all feel for him. Every golfer who plays the game feels for someone who doubles the last to lose," Montgomerie said.
Monty now leads the Ryder Cup points table and is fifth in the 2006 European Order of Merit.


Golf News | Golf Punks
12/5/2005 3:37:04 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, December 01, 2005
Our man in the States

A friend of the mag and general all round good fella has spent the last few months out in OC territory (that's Orange County, California for all you folks who don't watch depressing teen angst American TV). Not content with phoning up every day and telling us what 'a wonderful time I'm having, you guys would really love it out here,' he's been playing some golf in glorious sunshine while we've had to endure the next ice age. Here he is being lovely or should that be a luvvie...?


'I love you'
'No, I love you more'


Who says coppers are bent?

For when golf isn't enough | Golf Punks | Your funnies
12/1/2005 5:29:30 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Solid comeback? Who Els

Ernie Els shot a level par round of 72 in the opening round of the Nedbank Chalenge in Dubai on his return from a five month layoff.
Els had three birdies and three bogeys in his first competitive round since knee surgery to repair damaged ligaments.
Darren Clarke is leading the event after shooting a five-under par round of 67.
Defending champion Retief Goosen is three shots back on two-under and he is joined by Englishman Luke Donald.

Golf News | Golf Punks
12/1/2005 5:12:23 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
If it works for Vijay and Tiger will it work for me.

Winter is well and truly here and it's traditionally the time of year when I do one of two things. My clubs either get locked up with the solemn promise that I will never use them again or I book a few lessons and head down the range looking to burst out of the blocks next year.
Now I've had a fairly good year. I've hit shots that had me contemplating trotting up to Open regional qualifying with my sticks and chancing my arm, but at the same time I've the silly mistakes that make me the category two golfer that I am. I'm looking for the key that will eliminate those stupid dropped shots and make my game more solid all round, but golf is subjective and there is no one magic key. I've been looking around forums for some advice and came across this titbit on Wounded Duck's blog. There's been quite a bit spoken about 'one-plane swings' but I've never really understood the theory. All I know is that one of it's pioneers, Moe Norman, is a true legend. Have a look and see if you think it's worth me overhauling the swing this winter.

Here's a fantastic website by Chuck Quinton,(www.oneplanegolfswing.com) a golf instructor somewhere in Florida. He teaches the one plane swing, and has lots of streaming video drills to watch. I think it's a good starting point for learning the swing, but finding a local teacher is ultimately the best idea. From my own experience, this swing works great with the driver, but I've a little trouble applying it to short irons.

For full details click link: Wounded Duck.


It's a one-planer


Golf Punks | Tips and Swing thoughts
12/1/2005 12:21:59 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Turnberry to host Open in 2009

The Open will return to Turnberry in 2009 it was announced today.
It will be the fourth time that the course has hosted the event which will take place from 16-19 July.
The last time it was held there Nick Price narrowly defeated Jesper Parnevik holing a monster eagle putt on the 17th.
Turnberry’s General Manager Stewart Selbie said: "I am thrilled for everyone on the Turnberry team who has worked on this. In my six years here so many of the world’s best golfers have told me that they enjoy coming to Turnberry as one of the best Open venues in the world."
Turnberry will always be remembered for the epic 'Duel in the Sun' tussle between Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus in 1977. That was probably one of the greatest golfing battles ever witnessed between two of the game's great legends at the peak of their form.
One other famous Turnberry member, Colin Montgomerie, also said how delighted he was with this announcement.
    "The Ailsa has always been my favourite links course and it’s great that Ayrshire has another Open Championship on the horizon.”

Right then, guess we'll see you all there then. I fancy backing Jesper to be somewhere near the top come the day.


Golf News | Golf Punk at the Open | Women's Golf news
12/1/2005 11:33:39 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Seriously Peed on

The Golfchick's latest blog sees her bursting with rage at men who are bursting to pee. Ever since the first tree was planted man has been leaning up against it breathing a hearty sigh of relief but iis it time to change. Should 'no ball games on the grass' should involve the trouser territory as well. What do you think?
Here are my personal highlights of the Golfchick's tirade.

Maybe the whole idea behind men’s-only clubs is so they can burp, fart and wave their penises around as they urinate all over the course. Then, right before they turn on the cameras at Augusta, their mothers come along, straighten up their collars and tidy up their hair and faces with a little spit on the thumb and everyone’s on their best behaviour. Maybe that’s the big secret men’s-club thing and I just don’t know the handshake.

I know someone’s going to read this and surmise that I have “penis envy.” Personally, I think that is more of a phenomenon amongst current penis owners and their feelings of inadequacy. However, I will admit that it does upset me that my lack of a penis earns me about 25% less salary than my male counterparts in my current professional position. Other than that, I can assure you that the only desire I have for a penis requires its attachment to my man.

To read the whole article click the link: GolfChick


'Whistle while you work'

For when golf isn't enough | Women's Golf news | Your funnies
11/30/2005 2:53:12 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Golf Boom in the States

Our interesting fact of the day. The number of golfers in the United States has increased from 3.5 million in 1950 to over 30 million today, making golf the fastest growing sport in the United States.
Pat yourself on the back our American chums. It's always nice to hear that golf is moving away from it's elitist, stuffy, sexist and class based image to a sport for the masses.
While 3 million new players take up the game every year however, nearly 3 million of those already golfing quit in frustration.
Everyone has the urge to let out a lung-aching scream from time to time but there's no need to quit.
If you need somewhere to vent your frustration then visit a few of these fantastic forums that we've recently become members of. There's bound to be someone who shares your pain and can help your work out your golfing woes.

www.bombsquadgolf.com - All the latest news and reviews from over the pond.

www.tourspecgolf.com - What they don't know about importing and Japanese equipment isn't worth knowing.

www.golfwrx.com - The secret service equivalent of the forum world. They know it before the designers even do!

www.golfdigest.com - Rules with an air of authority, regality and grace.

www.golfmagic.com - Full of british wit and with hundreds of people on hand to help you out.

www.golfrewind.com - A conversation for every aspect of the game and even some other chit-chat.
Golf Punks
11/30/2005 11:46:45 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Cover Boy

This was sent to us by Steven Campbell. He's the father of Tiny Woods Reece Matthew Campbell Murphy (as his mother emphatically informed us) who featured in December's GolfPunk. The wee man obviously has the attitude of someone who's determined to get to the top and it seems his dad has his eyes on our Creative Director's job.

If you've got any amusing stories or photos send them to website@kynpublishing and you could find yourself beamed across the world.


For when golf isn't enough | Golf Punks | Your funnies
11/29/2005 5:43:47 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Aussie rules

A leading Australian golf official has spoken out against a culture of verbal abuse among the Australian professional ranks.
Colin Phillips, the retiring Australian Open chief organiser, critcised the attitude of some players and claimed that they were arrogant.
"I think the tour has got to clean up its act," he said. "It's not doing the game a lot of good. I think the players need to take a different attitude."
Phillips was insulted by Wayne O'Grady at the Australian Open last week.
He declined to repeat what exactly was said to him.
We thought this was all a bit strange so we asked a close source, who wishes to remain anonymous, to go and speak to some Australian professionals. Below is the transcript of the conversation.

Source: 'So fellas, do you think that you swear to much on course?'
Pros: 'Nah, no f**king way mate. That t**t is talking out his a**e. My mam watches me on the bl**ding tele so there's no f**king way I'd let her catch me effin and blinding.'
Source: 'What about the allegations of abusing officials?'
Pros: 'Again that's complete b****cks. I'll tell you what, if they could pull their fingers out in the f**king first place then there'd be no need to shout at them. I mean they're all a bunch of trussed up w****ers anyway. Complete t****ers.
Source: 'What about the example you're settting to younger generations?'
Pros: 'Well that's just b**ls**t and I'll prove it. Just the other day I was practising on the range and a bunch of kiddies came and complimented me on my game.
Source: 'Really? What did they say?
Pros: 'One of them goes, 'f***king awesome shot mate. That went f**king miles,' and I thought to myself 'yeah mate, it f**king did. Cheers little fella.'

Bush fire


Some of this conversation might be made up.
For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/29/2005 5:27:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, November 28, 2005
Funk strips the skins

Hang on a second. Fred Funk goes out for 36 holes, has a permanent 100 watt grin plastered across his face for the entire time, dresses up as a woman for a few holes, gets outdriven by a girl (not really a big deal when that particular girl happens to be Annika Sorenstam, one of the greatest women golfers ever) and sinks a half million dollar birdie putt on the last to take home a cheque a few bucks short of a cool million.

Who says this sport is for boring old men?


'I've been dying to do this all year'

Golf News
11/28/2005 11:46:54 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Hand of Rob

Robert Allenby defied an injured hand and tough conditions to win the Australian Open for a second time in Melbourne.
The Aussie golfer shot a five-over 77 but still managed to hold on to his lead and beat fellow Australians John Senden, Nick O'Hern and Paul Sheehan by one shot.
He sustained a hand injury during Saturday's third round and struggled through strong winds in the final round to be at the turn in three-over (39).
Allenby said: "I was too scared to commit to shots, especially in those first five or six holes. But once I was four over after about six holes, I pretty much said 'I've got to do something. I've got to forget about the hand and just go and play golf'."
True to his word he only had two more bogies down the back nine and made par at the last to secure victory.
Staunch work Rob.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/28/2005 11:34:17 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Casey storms to victory

Huge congratulations to Paul Casey who won the China Open after birding the first sudden-death play off hole to pip compatriot Oliver Wilson.
Casey seemed to be just out of the running all week after a fairly up and down three rounds, but he stormed up the leaderboard with a magical seven-under 65 to tie with Wilson on 13-under par after 72 holes.
Wilson looked to have sown up victory after four straight birdies from the 12th hole but a bogey at the 17th meant that he had to reurn to the par-five eighteenth for a two man play-off witth Casey.
Casey found the green in two shots and his 25ft eagle putt just slipped past the hole leaving him a tap-in birdie. Wilson's approach found the greenside bunker and he could only get up and down for a six.
Casey said that he was pleased with his performance and the way in which he battled through to win.
GolfPunk have had several friendly meetings with Paul and it's great to see him playing so well. We hope he can continue this form into the majors next year.
He now lies second on the European Order of Merit and is seventh in the Ryder Cup rankings for the event at the K Club, Ireland next September.
Golf News | Golf Punks
11/28/2005 11:20:25 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, November 25, 2005
Gobbledegook

Continuing our guided tour around the wacky world of Mother Nature, our friends at boingboing.net have come across an amusing article about turkeys in the Chicago Tribune.

Tom turkeys in suburban woods can be 4 feet tall, weigh 25 pounds and run 20 miles per hour for short bursts. Mr. Cardoza advises people to show the birds who's boss. One tip is to carry an umbrella to poke at the turkey. Ms. Huckery tells people to "get your broom and swat the turkey away." Other tips for discouraging turkeys include spraying them with a garden hose, yelling and banging pots and pans, and having a dog in the backyard.


'Cluck off'

Read more at boingboing.net
For when golf isn't enough | Your funnies
11/25/2005 11:34:40 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Golf in Brazil

Artic winds sweeping across the country mean that we have entered a period of what meterologists call 'f***ing freezing'. As we pull our duffel coats tight to the chin and don fingerless gloves until the Spring thoughts turn to sunnier climes. Brazil, for example, is just entering that time of year when it is state regulations to wear no more than 20cm of clothing over your entire body. With that in mind we've found this cracking blog entry on the Have Golf will Travel website thaat will sate your appetite.

Sao Paulo - the heart of industrial, commercial and entrepreneurial Brazil - is also the main reference for Brazilian golf. Sao Paulo has more golf clubs and players than the rest of Brazil put together. So, if you are planning a tourist or business trip to Sao Paulo, consider using one of its many golf greens. Any reputed hotel will give you the answers you may need for access to local greens. But... just because Sao Paulo is prominent in the Brazilian golf panorama doesn’t mean that there aren’t other opportunities to play. The number of Brazilian golf greens is increasing rapidly. You can even play golf in the middle of the Amazon basin. If interested in grasping the grandeur of the immense rainforest (without forgetting the golf), think of going to Manaus, an unexpected city, born from industrial dreams, but more and more, a big travel hub to the surrounding rainforest. Once there, besides local cruises on the river and visits to the ecological parks, the exploration of forest treks, or visits to the «caboclos» settlements, there is also an opportunity to play golf.

To read the full article click on the link: Have Golf Will Travel
For when golf isn't enough
11/25/2005 11:27:34 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:06:27 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:05:39 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Wie mistake means weekend at home.

Michelle Wie missed the cut by one shot in her first male event as a professional after a bogeying the last two holes.
The 16-year-old Hawaiian was taking part in the Casio World Open in Japan. She shot 73 in the first round put could not follow up that performance and her second round 75 left one over the cut off mark.
Wie is yet to make the cut in any men's professional event she has started.
"Obviously, I'm very disappointed," said Wie. "I played as well as I could. I tried my best but things just didn't work out. Not making the cut here has not made me not want to play in men's events. Hopefully, I can learn from the mistakes I made here and come back here."
Golf News | Women's Golf news
11/25/2005 11:02:43 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


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