Thursday, February 02, 2006
Planet Golf

We've missed the scoop on this but then we're not really feeling bad about it as so did millions of scientists over the centuries.
It seems that they've found a new planet hiding just behind somewhere near thee Milky Way. It's more like Earth than any planet in the universe and five times the size, so easy to miss. People have already started blogging on the possibilities. The GolfChick speculates...

Do you know how many golf courses we could fit on that? No wonder they call it OGLE.

While Jay Flemma has started coming up with potential names that the Americans can call it when they inevitably try to claim that they in fact built it

Some of you may remember the British running afoul of this rule last time some blighted rock was thought to be a tenth planet when they tried to have it named "Rupert." Hmmm, let's see what other names were passed on also by the impromptu U.S. Planet Naming Committee:
1. Seinfeld. What? The show was about nothing. There's nothing on the planet. It fits.
2. He-Man. Well, if we're gonna nominate names based on post-apocalyptic fantasy worlds, Xena's just gonna have to wait her turn cause He-Man's got it all over that chick.
3. Zorak. C'mon, work with me people, Zorak had not one but two successful TV stints and he even plays mad keyboards.

For when golf isn't enough
2/2/2006 5:38:50 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Workie Watch

Nice to see that the under 7s are getting off their lazy backsides and contributing to the British economy. Inspired by the good old days when kids used to sweep chimneys and go down mines rather than sit there twitching in front of the Playstation, we recruited Finlay William Bowen George for a spot of work experience. Truth is, we took advantage of an opportunity while he was being kept away from infants school, because staff were concerned that he might be suffering from impetigo (it’s a cold sore for crying out loud!) Staff members were heard commenting that his Lego hair is frighteningly reminiscent of the style sported by Owen Blackhurst, currently on a 10 day trip to Arizona (boy that guy works hard). His tea-making skills were, frankly, disappointing and he kept himself occupied playing online games and constantly asking how long he’d been here (“’cos it feels like 20 hours,”). Just like any other workie, then.
Crap tea, but is he bothered

Golf Punks
2/2/2006 5:00:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Arse!

Proving that we aren't the only football mad bozos in golf land, Ian Poulter has landed himself in a spot of bother for wearing an Arsenal shirt during the third round of the Abu Dhabi Championship.
The Gooner-mad Londoner faces a possible fine by the European Tour's players committee after complaints from officials.
Poulter told the BBC:
"I just wanted to spice it up a bit and would be very disappointed if I was fined,
"I suppose if everyone turned up in the football shirt of the team they support, all hell would break loose.
"But it was just a bit of fun and I didn't mean to upset anybody."
The main complaint seems to be centred on the size of the sponsors logo on the Arsenal shirt, which is O2 if anyone needs to know. It would be a shame if advertising money was the reason for reigning in some individuality and character on the Tour and hopefully this incident will pass without reprimand.


Golf Punks
2/1/2006 2:50:34 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, January 30, 2006
FA Cup 5th round draw

Not that football takes an overriding influence at GolfPunk but it is the FA Cup, the greatest footballing event in the entire world. So ladies and gents, without further ado, here's the fifth round draw.

Preston/Crystal Palace v Coventry/Middlesbrough
Newcastle v Southampton
Aston Villa v Manchester City
Everton/Chelsea v Colchester
Charlton v Brentford
Liverpool v Manchester United
Bolton v West Ham
Stoke v Reading/Birmingham

For when golf isn't enough
1/30/2006 4:39:31 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Saturday, January 28, 2006
Adams golf. Bryan Adams that is.

One of the'biggest stars of his stature'.Yeah, crap canadian pop star. Rock on Bryan....

Hitmaker Bryan Adams is set to become the first Western pop star to perform in Pakistan since the start of the war on terror, according to organizers. The star's Vancouver-based publicist Marlene Palmer says he may be one of the biggest stars "of his stature" to ever play in Pakistan. Adams will perform in Karachi, Pakistan, on Sunday at the Karachi Golf Club. He is trying to raise awareness and funds for Zindagi Trust

For full article click on the link: http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story
Your funnies
1/28/2006 2:10:38 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Buick Invitational

The Buick Invitational is proving to be quite an interesting show with many big name players coming unstuck over the Torrey Pines layout.
Here are some interesting comments from World number one, Tiger Woods....

"On this course, the way it's playing, it's not easy," Woods said of the South Course, "It's hard to take it deep on the South Course."

Take it deep? Is this some new technical term for ripping the skin off the ball and sending it miles from the tee? Phil Mickelson was also finding the South Course tough going. He said:

"I love coming out here. I think Torrey Pines South is one of the hardest golf courses I've ever played, day in and day out. It's the longest I've ever played. -- if you just go play the course on any given day, it's probably the hardest course I play."

I think there's a challenge there. If anyone has played Torrey Pines South Course let us know what you shot and we'll get a blog leaderboard going. See if anyone can take on Big Phil.

Golf News
1/28/2006 2:07:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
LIVE FROM ORLANDO

We've had a fresh batch of photos from the PGA Show in Orlando and have posted them up for you to see. Equipment editor Dan Owen told me he had to bit a bit sneaky getting a few of these shots, so if you see a shifty looking English bloke at show leave him alone. He's working for us.
Here are some of the titbits he's found...








What the Furyk is going on here?<


'Well Jim, it's some sort of show'









Golf Punks | Tips and Swing thoughts
1/28/2006 1:55:35 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, January 27, 2006
WORLD EXCLUSIVE:FOWLER SIGNS FOR REDS

We've just heard from a source up north that ROBBIE FOWLER aka 'God' has just resigned for Liverpool. We will confirm this breaking news story as it happens



All together now: Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart......


This blog is completely impartial and does not care that Robbie stuffed one past Manchester United in the Manchester derby just three weeks ago.
For when golf isn't enough
1/27/2006 5:24:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
European Championships 2008

We haven't even got to the World Cup yet and Fifa is already planning the 2008 European Championships. Talk about walking before you can run.
Not to lose face, the FA have also announced that they will schedule a meeting with the scriptwriters shortly after the World Cup final to decide on future plot lines and dramas that will play out from their headquarters.

Here's the British groups for the qualifying stages:

England, Croatia, Russia, Israel, Estonia, Macedonia and Andorra.

Scotland, France, Italy, Ukraine, Lithuania, Georgia and the Faroe Islands.

Wales, Republic of Ireland, Czech Republic, Germany, Slovakia, Cyprus and San Marino.

Northern Ireland, Sweden, Spain, Denmark, Latvia, Iceland and Liechtenstein.

To view the whole draw click on the link: http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/4650140.stm
For when golf isn't enough
1/27/2006 12:10:46 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
VOTE MAGGOT TO WIN BIG BROTHER

It's the last day of Celebrity Big Brother and you only have nine hours left to get your votes in and make sure that Maggot wins.
The bookies are backing Chantelle to win. Typically British that we would vote for a non-celebrity just to prove a point then go and read about it in Heat, Sure, OK....etc.
You can get one over on the bookies by backing Maggot. He's currently 12/1, so if all the golf punks of the world get behind him we could all make a killing.

GET VOTING NOW


Text MAGGOT to 84444 (50p plus your STD network rate) or Call 09011 32 33 06

Golf Punks
1/27/2006 11:45:56 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, January 26, 2006
He can't beLEEve it

Thursday night on production week. Sub Editor Lee Goodall has just found out that someone has eaten his dinner...


'Not my chicken arrabiataaaaaaaaaa'

Golf Punks
1/26/2006 8:41:21 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
The Graduate

In the midst of ranting about GolfPunk's gallivanting employees, who seem to be having a wonderful time at our expense, we received an e-mail from a certain Giles Cornwall, a gangly youth who had been working with us from GPs birth.
Giles always fancied himself as a legal eagle and so it was with tears in our eyes that we released him from his caper duties, making a nuisance of himself around the nation, and sent him off to the land of wigs and Latin.
True to form, Giles has gone on a bit of a European walkabout and is currently working for a law firm in Italy. Here are some of his thoughts on life in Italy so far....

I am in my third day at work in Studio Legale Rocca, which, roughly translated, means Rocca Law Firm (my Italian is coming on a treat!) and everyone is molto friendly. Only made one slight cock up so far, though potentially a fatal one. Was doing the rounds on my first day "ciao signorina" and all that, and then, feeling like I was fitting in and ingratiating myself with my colleagues, casually ciao-ed some bloke I hadn't met yet. Turns out this was l'avvocato Rocca, the big boss man who likes to be treated like some demi-god and must be greeted with "biorngiono". Anyway, after an awkward hush in the office, just came out with the old "sono Inglese, stupid-o!?" line, which has got me out of all sorts of scrapes and just about saved me.
Will leave you, however, with the reaffirmation of a good old-fashioned stereotype- the Italian driver. On my first day I got a lift home with one of the lawyers, who, in a 15 minute car journey ran about 7 red lights, cut up a couple of cyclists and then for some reason tried to ram a bus off the road, scraping all the way down the passenger (my) side of the car against it.

We'll keep you posted on how Giles gets on over the next few months. Our first GP graduate, we're so proud.


Just look at those Italian genes
Golf Punks
1/26/2006 8:23:20 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Our Men in Orlando

The two Dannies landed safely at the Orlando golf show after a marathon 22-hour journey. You may think that this is an awfully long time to fly across the Pacific, but they overshot a little bit and flew into Dallas and had to do a u-turn and head back to Florida.
This should give you an insight into the characters that we've sent to represent GolfPunk over the pond. A small consolation is that the journey has completely confused their body clocks and they can't sleep. So, if you see two droopy-eyed berks walking into clubs and stands that will probably be them. Ask for a photo, preferably one with a huge flash.
Equipment editor Dan Owen, has been doing some scouting around and has sent us a few previews of some gear at the show. We'll be updating everything on our gallery as we receive them, but here's a taster for you.


This is Callaway's latest X-Tour wedge, which Dan tried out yesterday. He said it performed great and looked fantastic. Callaway have just announced promising sales reports for their financial year, so look forward to some quality gear coming from them in 2006.

As for Publisher Danny Crouch, well, judge for yourselves...


Golf Punks
1/26/2006 3:34:32 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, January 25, 2006
VOTE MAGGOT TO WIN BIG BROTHER

Thanks to everybody who is supporting our campaign to make Goldie Lookin' Chain member, Maggot win Celebrity Big Brother.
He managed to avoid the chop in the Big Brother eviction on Friday night and didn't even get nominated for the surprise eviction, due to be held tonight.
Things in the Big Brother house have been getting a bit tense lately and a divide between the older and younger members has opened up. But Maggot has remained the embodiment of Zen calm and showed his true colours as a chilled out lad with no great pretensions about celebrity status.
We have to keep the momentum going and continue our campaign. There's only two days remaining after tonight's eviction, and bookies have got Maggot down at 7/1 to win, so get involved and let's make Maggot a part of Big Brother history


'VOTE FOR ME'
http://www.golfpunkonline.com/GP-Campaigns/

 


Golf Punks
1/25/2006 12:27:25 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Orlando Golf Show

Equipment editor Dan Owen and our intrepid Publisher Danny Crouch have swanned off to Orlando for ten days to the massive Golf Trade show.
"We don't want to go," they said, packing suncream and shades into their bags. "We just have to go. It's a business thing."
So strong are the bonds of friendship and unity in GolfPunk Towers, that we don't believe a single word they say. We reckon that they are more likely to be seen dancing on MTV's 'Singled Out' with an over-sized pair of mouse ears strapped to their heads than browsing the equipment in a room crammed with people smelling like a Skunk convention with a flatulence problem.
So, we are appealing for your help. They are meant to be telling everyone about GolfPunk magazine and getting some cool pictures of all the new gear at the show. We want you to keep an eye out for them and make sure that they are doing their jobs. We've put up a picture so you can recognise them. Try the pool first, then the bar. If you see them get a picture as proof and post it or let us know. Crouchy loves being stroked and Dan Owen is on a strict diet.


'We will work really hard, won't we Dan.'
'Yeah Dan, real hard."
Golf Punks | Your funnies
1/25/2006 12:10:44 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, January 23, 2006
Field of fools

Manchester United snatched a last-minute goal to give them a thrilling victory over Liverpool in Sunday's top of the table clash.
Rio Ferdinand's header came completely against the run of play after resisting sustained attack for much of the second half.
But according to United's assistant coach Carlos Queiroz this was exactly what was meant to happen.
He said: "The game was tight and difficult for both sides - but today was Manchester United's. We worked hard as a team and played 90 minutes with one thing in our mind, which was to score one goal and not to allow Liverpool to score.
"In the second half we opened up the game because we knew if we didn't take risks it would be impossible to score.
"We knew that by giving them the apparent control of the game we were able to create more space and counter attack and find the right moments and the right places to damage Liverpool.
"The plan worked, we did well and we deserved to win."

Hmmm, yes Carlos. I see what you're saying there. In fact, United's tactics were akin to that of the French army during WW2.
The French believed that allowing the Nazis to completely trample all over their territory and plunder all vital resources was a cunning coup delivering the Germans directly into the arms of the strong British Army. Four years of asset stripping, torture and repression was all just a tactic designed to weaken the Nazi army.
Similarly, United's gameplan revolved around allowing Liverpool to encamp themselves in the United final third, dominate possession and barrage the United goal before they unveiled their sneaky coup de grace and snatch victory.
Liverpool fans were gobsmacked at the use of this cunning tactic, which had football fans everywhere fooled for nearly 90 minutes. Rumours are now rife that Queiroz is due to release an instructional guide entitled 'Betcha didn't see that coming.'
For when golf isn't enough
1/23/2006 5:03:56 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Mental Overload

The guys at EatGolf are playing around as usual and have posted this quick little mind trick, which was totally unnecessary for a Monday morning.

For me, seeing the Eat Golf logo spelling out hooked on golf blog is like trying to figure out what color these words are:



My left brain hasn't quite realised that it's awake yet so I'm going to make some coffee, but the rest of you can give it your best shot. Go to EatGolf for the whole blog.
Your funnies
1/23/2006 3:38:02 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


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