Saturday, February 25, 2006
Stick that in your Bill

An Australian golf club refused to let former US President Bill Clinton play a round of golf because the course was too busy, its chief executive said on Saturday. Clinton's aides telephoned the private Medway Golf Club near Melbourne in the state of Victoria on Thursday to ask if the former president could play within the hour. After initially thinking it was a hoax, a staff member in the professional's shop explained he could not, as the course was hosting its midweek men's championship, Stringer said. "We already had a hundred and something people on the golf course," Stringer told The Associated Press. "The course was full. We had actually turned away some members." For full story click here .
Your funnies
2/25/2006 10:22:39 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
WGC

What on earth is going on at the WGC? CARLSBAD, California -- Tiger Woods missed a 12-foot birdie putt on the final hole for Chad Campbell to win 1-up and reach the World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship quarterfinals on a vicious day Friday for some of golf's biggest names. Beside Woods, second-seeded Vijay Singh, hometown favorite Phil Mickelson and defending champion David Toms were bundled out in the third round at La Costa Resort. Right when it looked as though the top seeds were on a collision course in the championship, the fickle tournament was left with Retief Goosen (No. 3) as the lone player from the top 10 seeds. Singh still doesn't know what it's like to play on the weekend at La Costa after missing a good chance to win on the 18th and losing to Padraig Harrington in 19 holes. Mickelson, the No. 5 seed, never led against David Howell of England and didn't stand much of a chance with Howell twice making long birdie putts, closing out Lefty, 3 and 1. Toms, the No. 8 seed, lost his magic at La Costa and saw his eight-match winning streak end by going down to U.S. Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehman, 4 and 3. Click on link: www:worldgolfchampionships.com
Golf News
2/25/2006 10:18:31 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, February 24, 2006
Gordon Strachan

Who'd thought that a tiny, ginger, Scottish fella would keep us amused on a Friday afternoon...

On Wayne Rooney... "It's an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?"
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today.

Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down.

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!

Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?
Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!


Ginger snaps.

Your funnies
2/24/2006 4:44:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Welcome to Golf Digest

Golf Digest have started a blog on their website www.golfdigest.com, and about time too.

The magazine spends the best part of it's time getting the top players, latest gear and has thrown an awfull lot of money into the game. Consider then, the amount of content that is left on the cutting room floor that will make it into their blog.

Senior writer John Hawkins has kicked things of with a refreshing bit of honest. Let's hope this is a sign of things to come.

"I was an idiot for picking Ernie Els to win this week at La Costa, as I did in my weekly selection for Golf World magazine. First of all, Els hates the place."

To read the pickings visit: http://blogs.golfdigest.com/hawkins/

Golf News
2/24/2006 1:05:09 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
WGC Draw: 3rd Round

Interesting viewing at the WGC World Matchplay in California yesterday.

Tiger was always going to struggle to emulate his record breaking spanking of Stephen Ames on Wednesday, but Robert Allenby surprised a few people with a gutsy performance that was only ended with a birdie from Tiger on the last hole.

David Howell and Luke Donald kept British hopes alive with solid 3&2 and 4&3 respectively.

Shock of the round was American Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehman defeating an in-form Adam Scott by one hole to set up a interesting match against defending champion David Toms.

Pick of the next round is the titantic match-up between world number three Retief Goosen against world number 14 Luke Donald.

The full draw is:

Tiger Woods v Chad Campbell
David Toms v Tom Lehman
Vijay Singh v Padraig Harrington
Chris DiMarco v Davis Love III
Retief Goosen v Luke Donald
Zach Johnson v Shingo Katayama
Mike Weir v Geoff Ogilvy
Phil Mickelson v David Howell

GolfPunks picks are:
David Toms
David Howell
Mike Weir

Golf News
2/24/2006 12:29:06 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
How to shoot the wrong score...

...Use a gun.


I know that the golf course is a great place for closing the deal but this is ridiculous:



A federal grand jury has indicted four men, two of whom are awaiting trial in the January 2004 Pali Golf Course shootings, on gambling and racketeering charges.

Those indicted were Kai Ming Wang, also known as "A Fook"; Rodney Joseph; Kevin A. Gonsalves, also known as "Poncho"; and Siaosi Alapati.

In 2004, Joseph and Gonsalves were indicted in state court on first-degree murder and other charges in the golf course shootings, in which two men were fatally shot, another seriously wounded.

In the federal indictment, the four were charged with operating an illegal gambling business, operating a racketeer-influenced and corrupt organization, and numerous counts of violent crime in aid of racketeering...

Great nickname. 'Who's he?' 'Him, oh he's a fook.'

Click link: starbulletin.com


2/24/2006 11:40:02 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Something to Digest on a Friday

A very entertaining and interesting read from Ron Sirak:


"HEY, Michelle Wie, you've got mail. That ding you heard Saturday was Morgan Pressel dropping a message in your inbox that she's ready to renew a rivalry that lasted only one match in junior golf -- a 3-and-2 Pressel victory in the third round of the 2003 U.S. Girls' Junior Amateur. That competition resumes on a professional stage this week at the Fields Open in Hawaii where the two talented teens square off in the same event for the first time since they turned pro late last year. And by the way, Michelle, nobody did you any favors by placing you third in the inaugural world ranking (the Rolex Ranking). That has left a lot of your fellow professionals wondering how someone who has yet to win can be ranked so high -- and they are out to take you down. Thus is the burden of greatness."


To read the whole article click the link: HERE
Golf News
2/24/2006 11:27:45 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, February 23, 2006
WGC DRAW: 2nd Round

Here's the draw for day two of the WGC Accenture World Matchplay in California:

David Toms v Jose Maria Olazabal
Adam Scott v Tom Lehman
Tiger Woods v Robert Allenby
Henrik Stenson v Chad Campbell
Chris DiMarco v Arron Oberholser
Carl Pettersson v Davis Love III
Vijay Singh v Miguel A. Jimenez
Angel Cabrera v Padraig Harrington
Zach Johnson v Sean O'Hair
Colin Montgomerie v Shingo Katayama
Retief Goosen v Ben Crane
Luke Donald v Shigeki Maruyama
Phil Mickelson v John Daly
David Howell v Scott Verplank
Bernhard Langer v Mike Weir
Geoff Ogilvy v Nick O'Hern

GolfPunks Picks:
Chris DiMarco to beat Arron Oberholser
Luke Donald to beat Shigeki Maruyama
Colin Montgomerie to beat Shingo Katayama
Vijay Singh to beat Miguel A. Jimenez
Tiger Woods to beat Robert Allenby

Golf News | Golf Punks
2/23/2006 5:14:47 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
World Rankings a Wie bit wrong.

The first-ever women's world rankings were published this week causing quite a storm.

Annika Sorenstam leads,  amassing nearly double the points of her nearest rival Paula Creamer, while 16-year-old Michelle Wie is in third.

The current ranking has been measured over the last two years and differs from the men's world rankings in that it recognises amateurs as well as professionals. World Ranking points are awarded based on the strength of the field, then divided by the number of tournaments.

Annika thoroughly deserves her place at the top. The Swede has won 21 tournaments and three majors in the last two years and is a different class to every female player. But Michelle Wie? What the hell is she doing there?

The girl is barely out of school and has only been playing full-time since October. I'm not going to take anything anyway from her performances because she has been a fantastic addition to the game, but what about the female professionals who've been plying their wares consistently on the tour for years, working hard for their invitations, fighting to pay expenses and carve a livelihood for themselves.

Amateur invitations are a free and (relatively) unpressurised perk for aspiring golfers, so is their inclusion a truly fair representation of the world ranking?
Remember, the first pair of hands rubbing with glee at the sight of Michelle Wie's name on the entry list is the tournament sponsor, so the inclusion of 'the next big thing' is as much an economical and political decision as it is based on talent. Do we really want the world rankings to be subject to the wont of business?

It seems that this world ranking reflects column inches rather than golfing ability. That said, the men's world ranking isn't exactly perfection embodied either.

Our first reaction in the office was to laugh when Michelle's name was read out in third place. I think that time will bear out more accurate positions, after the youngsters have a full season under their belts and really experienced the stresses and pressures  the professional game has to offer.


1 Annika Sorenstam Swe 18.47 average points
2 Paula Creamer US 9.65
3 Michelle Wie US 9.24
4 Yuri Fudoh Jpn 7.37
5 Cristie Kerr US 6.94
6 Ai Miyazato Jpn 6.58
7 Lorena Ochoa Mex 6.10
8 Jang Jeong SKor 4.91
9 Han Hee-won SKor 4.49
10 Juli Inkster US 4.11

Web Bloke Shaun


Golf News | Women's Golf news
2/23/2006 4:37:43 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Never piss off a Tiger

Consider the following occurances:

Tuesday 23rd February, California, Stephen Ames:

“Anything can happen, especially where he's [Tiger Woods] hitting the ball."

Wednesday 24th February, 10th green, California:

Tiger Woods stretches out his hand after holing an 8ft putt to defeat Stephen Ames 9&8, a new record, and then added that Ames knew where he hit the ball now.


It just goes to show that Tiger is sat on top of that world rankings chart for a reason. He stormed out in 29 shots and walked of the course having played only 33 strokes, including seven birdies and three pars. All this from a bloke who is still meant to be getting over the flu.

Shot of the day for me was when he hit a fairway wood from the rough to fifteen feet to set up yet another birdie. You couldn't even see his ball, but Woods just used all his strength to blast it onto the green.

Much were made of Ames' comments by the media, as they were  perfect headline and lead story fodder, but it just goes to show that you do not anger a player who is capable of breaking all boundaries in the game.

Anyway to close the matter we'd just like to say that Tiger would NEVER, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS agree to an interview with GolfPunk magazine. He's just a big scaredy cat and rubbish at golf.

Golf News
2/23/2006 3:43:59 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Look away if you are weak-hearted




Wait, Wait, it's not ready yet!!

Your funnies
2/21/2006 5:35:35 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
New method to eliminate slow play



What do you suppose the ruling is on this?

Your funnies
2/21/2006 10:37:28 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, February 20, 2006
Carne's latest creation

Here's something to get you salivating...

Jay Flemma has been sent images of the new layout at Carne golf course in Belmullet, County Mayo, on the west coast of Northern Ireland

Carne is a course that is very close to our hearts and one of those golfing places that you must visit before you die. We were so enamoured by the course that it made it's way into GolfPunk's 'Essential 100' as the world's best 'undiscovered golf course'.

A new nine will surely be a welcome addition to the world of links golf, as Jay says:

'Jim Engh and Tim Hartnett sent me a couple pix of the new nine Jim is building at Carne. The top pic is 9...the dunes pinch at the landing area. The bottom pic is 7, looking towards the green. Both holes needed almost no grading and the holes will look the same with the fairway and rough cut. Grading is almost done. Jim is going over in May to start green contouring. Seeding will occur next fall. Carne is located in the northwest corner of Ireland, called the "bloody forelands" because of the way the sunset reflects off the water and land giving it an eerie crimson hue.'






Click on the link to read Jay's thoughts: www.jayflemma.blogspot.com/

Tips and Swing thoughts
2/20/2006 3:15:18 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
FA Cup quarter final draw

There were several interesting developments in the FA Cup this weekend. Manchester Utd's chances at silverware took another blow after they crashed out to Liverpool. Colchester put up an outstanding fight to take the lead against the might of Chelsea before late goals from Joe Cole sealed a 3-1 victory saw their FA Cup dream slip away.

The draw for the next round has thrown up a few interesting ties. Newcastle have a trip down south to Chelsea to see if Alan Shearer can maintain his hopes of winning the trophy before he retires in the summer. Liverpool will face a tricky tie  at Birmingham,  a side they've failed to beat on their last four games, while the remaining two ties are very evenly matched.

Ties will be played between 20 - 23 March

Charlton v Middlesbrough

Aston Villa or Manchester City v Bolton or West Ham

Chelsea v Newcastle United

Birmingham v Liverpool



For when golf isn't enough
2/20/2006 2:57:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Saturday, February 18, 2006
Tiger withdraws from Nissan Open

This should make things easier for everybody...

'Tiger Woods has been forced to pull out of the Nissan Open in Los Angeles at the halfway stage due to a flu virus.

The world number one, chasing a third straight win this year, only just made the cut after round two on one over par, 11 shots behind Rory Sabbatini.

And with his symptoms and the weather conditions at the Riviera Country Club worsening, the American pulled out.'

For more details click on the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/golf/



Golf News
2/18/2006 7:03:09 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, February 17, 2006
Tough love

"So far Crouch has a 100% record against top GolfPunk web designer Rik Sellers, thrashing him 6-2 in a one set thriller."

So far indeed....

He's very quick to brag about his victories but less keen to tell you about his setbacks, so we're here to do it for him.

GP Publisher, Danny 'baby faced assassin' Crouch, had a rematch last night against GP web artist Rik Sellers.

Having allowed Rik to warm up this time, the match turned out to be a much more even affair which Rik 'The Serve' Sellers ended up winning 6-2.

The bout was a gruelling battle with some games lasting as long as four minutes and several injury stoppages, after Crouchy feared he had popped a lung.

Rik said: "We were embarrassing, but for me the highlight was when Dan checked the strings of his racket after completely missing a shot, to see if it had holes in it."

The decider is scheduled for next week.

For when golf isn't enough | Golf Punks
2/17/2006 4:15:29 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Tap, tappity tap....

Associate Editor Gavin Newsham is good at two things, put-downs and finding completely useless yet utterly addictive websites.

His time-wasting tip for February is www.songtapper.com, a site for all those who get songs stuck in their heads.

Rather than driving yourself crazy trying to remember the title of the song just log into this site and bash out the tune on your spacebar.

It cleverly works out the rhythm and produces a selection of songs titles that it relates to.

Also a good way releasing office tension.
For when golf isn't enough
2/17/2006 3:43:05 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Guess the Golf Course

Not the best quality picture but still, that's the challenge.



 No dramas for Cockney Valerie.

Your funnies
2/17/2006 3:32:04 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Ecco golf shoes

ECCO have launched their shoe range for 2006.

Featuring ultra-soft, waterproof and weather resistant leather, they are renowned throughout the world.

In an effort to reach more consumers ECCO is to launch their range in a number of american golf stores throughout February.


Golf News | Tips and Swing thoughts
2/17/2006 10:52:35 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, February 16, 2006


Gallivanting in the Highlands and risking hypothermia to interview Sandy Lyle, deputy Ed Iestyn George, found something that warmed his Welsh heart.....a pisstake of the English.




Every football player that has ever stiched up England

Your funnies
2/16/2006 5:57:27 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
KYN's Second Launch

Deputy Editor Iestyn George, burst into the office pleased as punch this morning, clutching a booklet he declared to be 'the next big thing'.

His daughter, Minnie George, 8, had spent the previous evening armed with felt tip pens and a pledge to end 'that sham of an awards ceremony they call the Brits', and produced her first ever picture book.

Minnie, who started her career on popular cartoons such as GolfPunk's 'Fibber', hates the colour pink and sleeps with a Green & Black's chocolate wrapper under her pillow. Her debut into the literary realm is a prophectic novella into the world of pop music and you can get a sneak preview right here....



Page 1. A lesson in wise investments



Page 2. Not Young anymore...



Page 3. Immaterial girl...



Page 4. Top bird...



Page 5. The suffragettes work wasn't in vain then..



Page  6. Just in case you can't read that it says, 'KELLY CLARKSON IS DEAD'



Page 7. New kids get cold shoulder



Minnie George is available for funerals and hospital visits outside of  school hours.
Chapter Two is a surmise of the dumbing down of the BBC.

Your funnies
2/16/2006 5:44:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Bombsquad test out Odyssey Golf

Bombsquadgolf are leading the way in forum interviews again with an in depth session with Odyssey Golf.

Rob Arluna, brand manager for Odyssey Golf and concept design specialist, Ron Hettinger will be fielding questions on all Odyssey products including: White Steel, SRT putters, White Hot XG, and Dual Force 2. 

It all kicks off today from 5pm to 7pm, which is about midnight for all those on the cultured European side of the Pacific.

They will be giving away an Odyssey Golf Tour Milled Prototype putter and Odyssey Golf TriBall SRT putter to two people that we believe ask the best questions, so get involved.



Golf News
2/16/2006 2:32:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
WGC DRAW

The first World Golf Championship is due to start on February 22nd at the LaCosta Resort in California.

Here's the provisional draw, providing no-one pulls out between now and then.

Provisional draw for Accenture Match Play Championship:
(Seeded positions in brackets)

(1) Tiger Woods v (64) Graeme McDowell - GolfPunk against the World
(32) Rory Sabbatini v (33) Robert Allenby
(16) Henrik Stenson v (49) Tim Herron
(17) Chad Campbell v (48) Rod Pampling
(8) David Toms v (57) Lucas Glover
(25) Jose Maria Olazabal v (40) Arron Oberholser
(9) Adam Scott v (56) Carl Pettersson
(24) Stuart Appleby v (41) Brandt Jobe
(4) Ernie Els v (61) Charles Howell
(29) Bart Bryant v (36) Ben Crane
(13) Michael Campbell v (52) Richard Green
(20) Nick O'Hern v (45) Lee Westwood
(5) Phil Mickelson v (60) Zach Johnson
(28) Fred Couples v (37) Mike Weir
(12) David Howell v (53) Geoff Ogilvy
(21) Scott Verplank v (44) Shingo Katayama
(2) Vijay Singh v (63) Paul Broadhurst
(31) Justin Leonard v (34) KJ Choi
(15) Angel Cabrera v (50) Paul Casey - GolfPunk against the World
(18) Padraig Harrington v (47) Shigeki Maruyama
(7) Chris DiMarco v (58) Ian Poulter
(26) Tim Clark v (39) Sean O'Hair
(10) Kenny Perry v (55) Niclas Fasth
(23) Davis Love v (42) Tom Lehman
(3) Retief Goosen v (62) Bernhard Langer
(30) Stewart Cink v (35) Miguel Angel Jimenez
(14) Luke Donald v (51) Peter Lonard
(19) Darren Clarke v (46) Fred Funk
(6) Jim Furyk v (59) Mark Calcavecchia
(27) Thomas Bjorn v (38) John Daly
(11) Colin Montgomerie v (54) Steve Elkington
(22) Paul McGinley v (43) Mark Hensby



Golf News | Golf Punks
2/16/2006 2:16:15 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Lee 'The Rock' Goodall

He's publishings answer to Ole Gunner Solskjaer. Supersub Lee Goodall has started to train the part sports legend, part ok Publisher Danny Crouch in the gentle past time of Tennis.

Danny commented "Lee is my rock"



So far Crouch has a 100% record against top GolfPunk web designer Rik Sellers, thrashing him 6-2 in a one set thriller.


2/16/2006 10:50:48 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


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