Friday, June 02, 2006
Stretching the purse swings...

Stumbled across this little nugget of news, which might go some way to explaining why so many people think that golf is still a rich man's sport...

The newest golf course in the Hamptons may already be No. 1 in at least one category: price.

Sebonack Golf Club, which opened for limited play last weekend in Southampton, New York, costs what might be a world- highest $650,000 for a membership that ensures accommodations at one of 15 four-bedroom ``cottages'' being built around the course. It's $500,000 just for golf.

The new club sits between 95-year-old National Golf Links of America and four-time U.S. Open host Shinnecock Hills Golf Club at the eastern end of Long Island. Other neighbors include Atlantic Golf Club and the Bridge, both in Bridgehampton. Membership in those clubs -- by invitation only -- tops out at $575,000.

``The numbers are all amazing, but you're dealing with the Hamptons here,'' said Phyllis Dixon, a broker with Prudential Douglas Elliman.


Well, whoever those Hamptons are Phyllis, could they lend us a tenner.

link: here
Golf News
6/2/2006 1:14:50 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
World Robot Championships of Golf

We're going to start back with a vengence....

I know that some people complain about the professional game being full of 'robots' and no orginal and individual swings, but these Italian fellas are making there point rather unsubtly.

"Robots from all over the world have come to Italy for the world's first robot golf challenge .

It is the first time Italy has hosted the annual World Robot Championships, which pose fresh technological challenges each year .

"The rules change every year so we have to keep building new robots able to handle the performances required of them," said organiser Giovanni Muscato of the host university in Catania. Five Italian pairs are competing against 60 two-robot teams from 28 countries .

The four-ball pairings, as they are called in golf, score points for putting blue and red balls into holes of the same colour .

If they hit a ball into the wrong hole they are penalised .

The challenge is even harder because there are also black balls in play, which must be avoided at all costs .

"It might seem no use to have a robot able to recognise and hit a ball but many of the technologies that make these robots work can be applied to practical uses," Muscato said. "They could easily be programmed to pick fruit, for instance."

Link: here  http://ansa.it/main/notizie/awnplus/english/news/2006-05-31_1313267.html

6/2/2006 12:49:26 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
We shall fight them on the blogroll. We shall never surrender!

A big hello to everyone.

You may have noticed that there's been a few changes made to our glorious blog. This is due entirely to those festering parasites of all that is virtuous and pure in the blogging world; online gambling sites.

The moneygrabbing, soulless terrorists began to SPAM golfpunkonline last week and within hours were slowly working through our blog and littering it with their uninventive, pathetic pipe-dream drivel. The site slowed to a crawl and I have received over 7000 emails in a week. At one point I was thinking about recycling the trash in a fitting manner - printing out the tripe and turning it into office toilet paper.

We were a little unprepared for this SPAM attack and have worked hard to correct the flaw. I am pleased to say that we now have a nuclear defence system in place and the first bugger that tries to clog up our beloved blog again will be met with the collective ire of the golfpunk baseball team.

On a sadder note, there's been one casualty in this unnecessary war. Our Blogroll tragically suffered fatal wounds at approximately 11am this morning , wiping out an entire community of golf bloggers in the process. But we will not be defeated. We will start again and carry the spirit of golf bloggers forward.

So, join us in this quest. If we have lost your details then please accept our apologies and help us to correct this oversight immediately. Send your details to website@kynpublishing.com and we will restore the blogroll to it's former glory.

                       
                       If you know a friend who can help then get in touch

dasBlog
6/2/2006 12:15:27 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, May 26, 2006
GolfPunk and the Kintyre Cup

I will be playing in a little event from Sunday called the Kintyre Cup. It is a Ryder Cup style event where a bunch of European journos will take on a posse of American journos for patriotic pride...and the opportunity to play around Turnberry for three days.

I don't want to brag, after all you should be well acquainted with the Open Championship course, but I will be representing the continent and tasting the finest whiskys that the area has to offer.

But on a less pompous note, I'm a little unprepared for the event. I haven't played in six weeks and managed to venture out for 18 holes yesterday, which was colourful to say the least. The sun came out after 1.298,877 days of continuous torrential rain and I got burnt to a crisp. My face redder that a slapped arse.

The golf was wayward and sporadic with holes merely being the milestone I managed to pass at the end of a zig-zagging 1000 yard walk. So, taking my cue from the nation's favourite cook, Delia Smith, I am calling on you fellow blog readers  to be my 12th man - actually  that doesn't work but I will probably need the support and luck of eleven other people.

I will be reporting live from the event at the end of every day, tumbler in hand and you can see how I plan to represent my Continent live and exclusive right here. Please God, show your support. I just don't think I can handle the lonely nights...

Yours, webitor bloke Shaun.


5/26/2006 8:31:45 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
URGENT WARNING!!!



Your funnies
5/26/2006 8:15:44 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Get off the Fence!

A dispute is brewing in Hewlett Harbor, where homeowners are "teed off" about a 75-foot net-fence that the local golf club erected to keep golf balls from being hit on private property.The black netting abuts million-dollar homes in the posh Nassau County village and is visible from several blocks around.People in the Village of Hewlett Harbor and the Village of Hewlett Bay Park don't like the fence erected by the Seawane Country Club.The country club erected the fence after losing a lawsuit to a Hewlett Harbor homeowner.
Now, some residents of nearby Hewlett Bay Park have filed a lawsuit saying the 300-foot long fence that towers 75 feet high is an eyesore.

Link: http://www.wnbc.com/news/9265650/detail.html

Golf News
5/24/2006 5:13:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Casey does the business...so far

GolfPunk diarist Paul Casey, is on track for automatic qualification for the US Open at Winged Foot next month after two sterling results at the British Masters and Irish Open.

Paul finished fifth and second respectively, which has shunted him from 56th to 42nd in the world rankings. The top 50 players in the world automatically qualify for the US Open.

So that's a massive woohooo from us and a fingers crossed that Nick Dougherty and Graeme McDowell can follow suit.


Golf Punks
5/23/2006 5:21:53 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, May 19, 2006
The golf drill guru

The boys in the office have ventured out into the gale force winds for a game of post-production golf. Well, we never said we were geniuses.

Anyway, there's been a bit of rivalry in the office and a few egos have been puffed up and bets laid on the outcome of today's golf.

So, in order to cope with the unreasonable demands of British summertime the boys have been practising some drills they found on this great new site http://www.thegolfdrillguru.com/ all week.

There has been all manner of disco shapes thrown in the office and many resembling a circus act contortionist more than a golf swing, but that shouldn't be a reflection on some of the great advice that Duncan offers.

Check it out...


Tips and Swing thoughts
5/19/2006 12:50:56 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
A new young star?

Just down the road from GP towers in Brighton, teenagers wipe mud on bus stops whilst sporting tartan caps and swigging the obligatory bottle of white cider. 13-year-old Ryan Simpson however is ready to out-drive and out-putt Tiger Woods in this year's U.S Open.

He is playing in the U.S Open qualifier at the Schuyler Meadows Country Club in Loudonville on Monday. If he qualifies Ryan gets the chance to go to the sectional qualifier in New Jersey next month.
I kind of thought it was a long shot," Simpson said. "I didn't really think they were serious because the U.S. Open is so prestigious. But when I saw the (Schuyler Meadows) course, it was only 6,800 yards or so, and I've played some courses that long, so I thought I might come over and try it."
Ryan took up golf when he was 18 months old, hitting balls in a horse pasture near his family's home in Burnt Hills. He has been playing since he was 18 months and practices 15 hours a week.
Ryan will use his father, Mark, a 44-year-old pilot, as his caddy in next month's qualifier.
"I'm looking forward to caddying for him," Mark Simpson said. "I asked him who he was going to take, and he said, 'I own you.' I've learned to stay out of his way. He's got a very good eye on the short game, so it's all natural feel."
Ryan who drives 250 yards plus remains calm about the qualifier:
"I feel confident that if I play my best and the course is in good enough conditions I can do well", said Ryan.
This year's U.S Open is being held at Winged Foot Golf Club in Mamaroneck, New York on June 15th through the 18th and young Ryan could be there so watch this space.

For Full story click here:

5/19/2006 12:32:57 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
It makes me hopping mad

Humans are thought to have been killing kangaroos at a golf course on Melbourne's northern fringe.

Since January last year, the bodies of 22 young eastern grey kangaroos have been found at the Yarrambat Park Community Golf Course, most without heads. Another four bodies have been found in nearby suburbs. The RSPCA's inspectorate services manager, Greg Boland said it was hard not to suspect it was the work of humans. Many had been killed in the same way and in the same place. "If it was just the odd one or two you could probably put it down to animal attack, but when it's been so reasonably frequent, the circumstances are very suspicious," Greg said.
The attacks are being jointly investigated by the RSPCA, The Department of Sustainability and Environment, the local council and police, who say they have never known such a serious spate of attacks on kangaroos before.

For full story click here:

Golf News
5/19/2006 12:30:16 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Temperatures rise at Golf Course

Eruptions on course usually mean a temperamental shriek followed by a stream of expletives, but at Mount Merapi, Indonesia they can mean having to leg it faster than Thierry Henry whilst a river of lava flows straight at you.

The peak recently sputtered to life and activity has steadily increased. On Saturday, officials raised the alert status to the highest level, and more than 5,000 people were evacuated from their homes. Many are staying in temporary shelters close to the club.
Caddies that ply the 6,969-yard, par-72 course ran home when a particularly large eruption shook the mountain Monday. The club closed its gates, and most of its 250 staff were told not to come to work.
 “This is the risk of putting a club here,” Sukirman said. “When there is an eruption, it can make the future look pretty unclear.”
When dormant, the volcano that gives Golf Merapi club its name is its biggest draw. Golfers from around the world come for the experience of playing on the side of a still active volcano, the crater of which is just five miles from the course. “When it’s erupting I tell people, it is probably safer to stay at home,” said Sukirman.
The club is situated just outside the peak’s mandatory evacuation zone, and it is not the only business suffering because of Merapi’s wrath, which scientists say could last several weeks.
     Scores of guesthouses popular with adventure tourists are now off limits, as are campsites and restaurants catering to day-trippers from Yogyakarta, the nearest city to the volcano.
 
For full story click here:

Golf News
5/19/2006 12:29:03 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
That's impressel!

Most students spend their spare time making tea, staggering whilst using traffic cones as makeshift hats, or god-forbid; studying. Morgan Pressel however earns $110,000 dollars playing golf, and is now due to graduate.

"I'll be very happy that I won't have to be under so much stress," said the 17-year-old LPGA pro from Boca Raton, Fla.
When Pressel walks across the stage Saturday to receive her diploma from Saint Andrew's School, she'll reach the end of a wearisome balancing act of golf and study.
A relieved Pressel said: "I knew I'd have to make up tests and write papers," she said, "but I didn't realize it would be quite this much."
As recently as last Thursday, Pressel packed in nearly four hours of study time before teeing off in the Michelob Ultra Open at Williamsburg, Va.
E-mail and the Internet have helped her submit assignments on time. Unlike most layabout students "She gets it done," said Dave Ahern, the school's athletic director and assistant golf coach. "If she's on the road, she makes sure it's handed in on time, whatever it might be."
With a heavy golfing schedule Pressel does stress over work: "I don't want to say anything has suffered, but it's very possible."

For full details click: here

Golf News
5/19/2006 12:24:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, May 18, 2006
Doing what we do best: The English Ranter

Not that we are a cynical lot, or that we are all a little bit emotional after our last minute efforts to cram all of our most aspirational ideas into the latest issue, but we would like to say a big thank-you to The English Ranter for his wonderful website, www.englishranter.com

The English ranter has worked in the publishing trade for years and as such as a number of brilliant insights into the world of celebrity and un-returned phone calls.

Each week the 39-year-old self confessed gambling addicted, Marxist thief tells us what is wrong with the world and gives us salvation in knowing that we are not the worst people on the planet.

This week's English Ranter: www.englishranter.com
 
* The world's shittest sports mascot (and it's German)
* Meeting the cast of Beverly Hills 90210
* The mouth on a stick vs Paul McCartney
* The world's newest monkey
* A consumer's guide to getting cancer
* Plus Pete Doherty, paypal, water companies and other c***s.
* Loads of amazon adverts with things you won't want.
 
On this week's World Cup Ranter: www.worldcupranter.blogspot.com
 
* Who the f*ck is Fred?
* Thierry Henry - put your money where you mouth is
* England cheated to win in 1966
Plus some other stuff about teams in the world cup, and a load of amazon adverts with things you won't want.

For when golf isn't enough | Golf Punks | Your funnies
5/18/2006 4:32:17 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Unlucky...

     
Your funnies
5/18/2006 3:54:13 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, May 12, 2006
You couldn't make it up

For a Friday evening when the GolfPunk office can see no light at the end of the tunnel little stories like this help reaffirm that it is all worthwhile and that no matter how bad we feel there is always a bigger idiot out there.

 A Garrett Park man pleaded guilty to four counts of bank robbery Wednesday, telling police that he needed the money to play golf.

Thomas C. Springer, 57, of Garrett Park, appeared in U.S. District Court in Greenbelt following his arrest on Nov. 30 after robbing the Chevy Chase Bank in Kensington, according to a news release from U.S. Attorney Rod J. Rosenstein.

In a videotaped confession, Springer admitted to robbing seven banks and attempting to rob another between November 2004 and November 2005, Rosenstein said. In each robbery, Springer approached the teller window and passed a note that read, ‘‘Bank Robbery,” netting a total of $20,896. During the confession, Springer said he robbed the banks because he needed money for golf and was struggling to pay rent.

Link: http://www.gazette.net/stories/051106/montcou164503_31959.shtml


Golf News
5/12/2006 6:52:24 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, May 11, 2006
Why Did The Duck Cross The Road?

Here at GP Towers we are in the throws of production week, again. As we have more than enough to do we have been following the progress of this family of suicidal ducks who were spotted crossing the A27 to Brighton. In part with concern, to an extent with morbid curiosity but mainly in empathy as we see this as an analogy for our own tortured lives.

We like to think of ourselves as a family, the road could represent the oft daunting highway to success and we are all quackers (Webitor – That’s the last time I'll warn you). Plus "King of Clubs" Dan Owen has got webbed feet, probably.

Here’s to us all flapping off to warmer climes this summer.


“What do you mean your not coming? Are you a chicken?” “No”

5/11/2006 10:34:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


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