Wales' favourite son Jack Rivers has returned to GOLFPUNK Towers to live the dream. To welcome back one of our finest workies we told him to get the brews on and do our work for us.


Jack 'Rapid Rise' Rivers. Today it's the teas, tomorrow the bins.

Look out for his Swing Hell... in the next issue of GP out soon. In the meantime he's banging on about a man who wears make up and likes golf.

The name Vincent Damon Furnier probably doesn’t probably doesn’t mean that much to the average golfer. Would you believe me if I told you that he is in fact up there with the Parneviks and Poulters as one of golf’s most colourful and interesting characters? Probably not, but then you probably didn’t know that in 1974, Vincent Damon Furnier changed his name to Alice Cooper.



As golfers, we should count our lucky stars to have players like Alice Cooper, Jodie Kidd and Bill Murray, all of whom show a genuine enthusiasm for playing the game and pushing it forward. We could have to deal with unfair infestation of z-list nobodies like poker has to.

Though Alice Cooper will be best remembered for his music and on-stage antics, the most intriguing aspect of his career is the story of how at a time when many people would have turned to the big man upstairs for salvation, Cooper chose golf. He made the right choice, and has secured a place in many a golf punk’s heart as a result.

If you find yourself looking for something a bit different to read in the upcoming months, let me point you in the direction of Cooper’s new offering: Golf Monster: My 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict.

For more on this story click here

8/30/2007 12:18:17 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [2] 

Good news club swingers good news. Golf guru Joe Hagan, the man who cured the Webitors incurable slice, has released his book. “Nail It with 3skills golf” is an impressive tome that is sure to benefit golfers of any ability.



At first we were a little annoyed that the secrets that had been divulged to us are going to be on the open market. We aren’t just being selfish but if everyone reads this book they’ll get better at golf, which means by comparison we appear worse at golf. Actually, that is a bit selfish.



We implore you to pick up a copy, available from Hersham Village Golf Club (01932 267666) or www.3skillsgolf.com.

You can also find out more by joining the 3skills group on facebook or check out My Swing Hell in GOLFPUNK31 out now.

Get involved.

8/29/2007 12:47:46 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

Golf’s greatest jester Bill Murray has gone up even further in our estimations after being stopped on a golf cart in central Stockholm. The Caddyshack star was pulled over as he returned to his hotel after ‘borrowing’ the cart to visit a nightclub half a mile away.

” The US actor Bill Murray could face a drunk driving charge in Sweden after riding through central Stockholm on a golf cart and refusing to take a breathalyser test, police said today.

Officers spotted Murray early on Monday morning in the slow-moving vehicle and noticed he smelled of alcohol when they pulled him over, Detective Inspector Christer Holmlund, of the Stockholm police, said.

"He refused to blow in the (breathalyser) instrument, citing American legislation," Mr Holmlund told the Associated Press. "So we applied the old method - a blood test. It will take 14 days before the results are in."


Bill Murray, yesterday.
Murray, the star of films including Lost in Translation and Ghostbusters, had been attending a golf tournament in Sweden. He signed a document admitting that he was driving under the influence and agreed to let a police officer plead guilty on his behalf if the case went to court, Mr Holmlund said. "Then he was let go. My guess is he went back to America," Mr Holmlund added….”

For more on this story click here…

8/28/2007 10:10:43 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

So this is the deal. I don’t want to be too graphic but without the iPhone that was left in his pocket, then pain just doesn’t seem to cover what Irwin Koss from New York would been in.

His playing partner struck a three-wood like a beast at almost 100 mph, the ball then proceeded to shatter into his side. And shatter is the right word, because instead of hitting flesh and more importantly the scar that was left from his recent prostate cancer operation his iPhone took the brunt of the impact.


Apple, is there anything they can't do?

He said that as the pieces flew out of his pocket he could hear the words of his ring tone from his favourite band the ‘Smashing Pumpkins.’ Ok that’s not strictly true but if I had one piece of advice Mr. Koss it would be do the lottery tonight ‘cause your lucks in.

For more on this story click here....

8/23/2007 4:55:40 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

Blog Master General James has been banging on about a couple of dustbin lids who are well good at golf. We reckon he's jealous and a little in awe. But mostly jealous.



Both balls flew true in the air, landed on the green and released like laser guided missiles towards the hole. It can’t happen, it won’t happen and yet it did happen.

Ulverston Golf Club juniors are in what some would call (including me) a bit of a purple patch. Still searching for my first hole-in-one this story does stick in the throat but after three in three weeks these juniors just can’t miss. However incredible that feat is, it is nothing compared to the fact that two of them were one after the other, in the same group, on the same day. And it doesn’t stop there.

Luke Allonby, 17, and James Taylor, 16, didn’t just get their aces on a poxy, wedge hole but a 188 yard monster that would challenge any golfer.

I just can’t help but feel a little sorry for them because they had to celebrate with a nice glass of coke. I’m sure they made up for it with that bottle of White Lightening down the park after though, or maybe even returned to the scene of their triumph under the cover of darkness. Either way guys keep going like that and this won’t be the only time your name is in lights.

"TWO Ulverston golfing partners landed consecutive aces on the same par three on the same day — but could only celebrate with a round of Coke.

Teenagers Luke Allonby and James Taylor were paired during the same competition at Ulverston Golf Club when the unthinkable happened.

The odds on playing partners managing successive holes in one are estimated at a staggering 17 million to one.

The two were playing in the junior medal competition, the Wilkinson Trophy.

Luke, 17, teed off first at the 14th hole, described as a difficult 188-yard par three.

His ball flew straight and true through the air, landed, rolled along the green and into the hole.

Then the unthinkable happened. Playing partner, James, 16, repeated the feat.

And there were plenty of witnesses."

For more on this story click here...

8/22/2007 10:47:45 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

What is going on in the world? There was a time when I, along with most members of GP Towers, thought we were above average at sport. We could do a job for you at 5-a-side footy, have a knock about for your pub cricket team and wouldn’t embarrass you on your Sunday four-ball. Now that the sands of time keep leaking from the hourglass of potential sporting achievement it’s becoming clearer that much of this prowess existed only in our heads. You can always look back with rose tinted wrap around shades at that time you really impressed in those county under 16 trials. But as you get older you will inevitably be reminded more often than not that you are not a sleeping giant of unique sporting talent, in fact you’re probably below average.

Take this story for example. Sheila Drummond has achieved golf’s holy grail by acing a 144 yard par-three at Mahoning Valley Country Club in Lehighton, Pennsylvania on Sunday.

Deserved congratulations, but this feat was made all the more impressive by the fact she is blind. Yup blind. Now that is sporting prowess.

” LOS ANGELES, Aug 20 (Reuters) - American Sheila Drummond, with her heart pounding, recorded what is believed to be the first hole-in-one by a totally blind female golfer at Mahoning Valley Country Club in Lehighton, Pennsylvania on Sunday.

Playing with her husband Keith and another couple in damp conditions on a course she knows very well, the 53-year-old amateur aced the par-three fourth from 144 yards with a driver.

Drummond, blind since 1982 because of diabetes, heard her ball strike the flagstick before it dropped into the cup for the best moment of her golfing career.



"I hit the ball and one of my opponents said: 'Oh, that's a great shot'," Drummond told Reuters in a telephone interview on Monday. "Then she said: 'It's going over (the green), no wait, it's going in the cup!' We all heard the ball hit the pin and I asked: 'Are you sure it's in the hole?' "Then we raced off in our carts over the bridge and the water toward the green before I knew I had my first hole-in-one…”

For more on this story click here…

8/21/2007 10:13:50 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

It’s amazing what feats people will go to test themselves. And golf seems to attract more than it’s fair share of such people. Take the story of David Bentley attempt to play every golf hole in the Kansas City metropolitan area in a calendar year. Not easy, take it from someone who flakes out after 36 holes in a weekend, 2,691 would certainly put me on my backside.

“David Battey has a setup any avid golfer can appreciate. A mere 40 yards or so from the back door of his Fairway home, through a simple gate and a thin shroud of trees, sits the 11th green and 12th tee at The Kansas City Country Club. A member there since 1990, he has the luxury of grabbing his clubs and teeing up on an urge. But Battey had something else in mind last year. A few days past his 43rd birthday, buoyed by an even-par round at Painted Hills Golf Course in early March 2006, Battey set out on a quest to play every course in the Kansas City metropolitan area by the end of the calendar year. His journey would end up covering 2,691 golf holes — of many varieties — within his continually expanding definition of the metro area…”

For more on this story click here…

8/20/2007 11:44:22 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0] 

This has come in from Charley one of our global golf punks. A nice idea, we hope golf can do some good.

Not sure if you have already heard about this, but Dan Rooney is an F-16 fighter pilot in the Oklahoma Air National Guard and a PGA Member that is preparing to launch Patriot Golf Day on September 1, 2007. Dan has served two tours flying F-16s over Iraq and, being familiar with the devastating losses some families have suffered due to their loved ones´ service to their country, he was determined to find a way to help them through the power of golf. Dan’s true passion for this cause has garnered the attention of some pretty big supporters in the PGA of America and USGA. Patriot Golf Day is a program that is asking golf facilities for a $1 donation on top of every green fee received, or in the case of private facilities, for a donation from every club member who tees off that day. Its that simple. As you may know, more than $3 billion charity dollars are raised every year through golf. He is simply a man who wants to make a difference for families of fallen soldiers through the game that he loves. A great story on Dan appeared in the August issue of Golf Digest



Rooney is out at the PGA Championship all week and just took David Feherty up in his F-16 for a story that will be a part of the in game PGA Championship coverage. I have attached a release from the PGA of America, that is encouraging golfers to rally behind Dan and his amazing cause.

Here’s the link to his foundations website, Fallen Heroes’ Foundation: http://www.fallenheroesfoundation.org/index.html

8/17/2007 9:04:56 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)    Comments [0]