Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Golf War

Check out this quirky comedy from Simon, Matt and Rich from the Mighty Boosh. The funny threesome came and saw us at the London Golf Show and were thoroughly decent chaps.

We don't think Golf War is based on a true story but it did make us goggle.



4/29/2008 11:52:09 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, April 28, 2008
On This Day In History

On this day in 1966 John Patrick Daly was born.

Happy birthday pal.

To celebrate here are a few things we love about Big JD.

* John has recorded a largely autobiographical album entitled "My Life," featuring guest performances by Darius Rucker, Willie Nelson, Johnny Lee and Daron Norwood.
* John was the 1990 PGA TOUR Rookie of the Year, becoming the youngest active player on PGA TOUR.
* ‘The Lion’ is recognised for his tireless charitable work, including Make-a-Wish Foundation and Boys & Girls Clubs of America.
* Rather than flying, JD often drives his RV to many tournaments,
* Daly’s the fourth American since World War II to win two majors before his 30th birthday.
* One of his sponsors is the restaurant chain Hooters, obviously.
* The big fella claims to have lost between $50 and $60 million dollars(US) over the past 15 years.
* John Daly is a Diet Coke drinking, cake eating, long driving legend. Fact.

John has been responsible for some of our finest golfing memories, so here’s a vid of him singing badly about golf balls.




4/28/2008 4:22:01 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Clarke King Again

Darren Clarke held on to win the BMW Asian Open on Sunday.

Clarke, who carried a one-stroke lead into the final round, finished with an eight-under total of 280, after carding a one-over 73 at the $2.3 million tournament.

It was Dazza's first tournament win since his wife, Heather, died of cancer in August 2006.

"It was always going to be a difficult hurdle for me to get back into the winner's enclosure after Heather passed away... It's a big mental hurdle that I have crossed today," a chuffed Clarke said.

Clarke's victory, which earned him 383,000 dollars, was his first win on the European Tour since 2003 and his 11th in total.

He said it was the most important victory of his career as it cemented his golfing comeback following his wife's death.

"Sometimes there's a black hole. It's not easy to see through," Clarke said as he spoke of the deep emotional turmoil he has endured since his wife died.

In that respect, Clarke dedicated his victory to his sons, aged nine and seven.

Darren Clarke, smoking.

"This win is for Tyrone and Conor," he said, while also thanking all his friends who had supported him over the past 20 months.

Clarke, who for many years had been a mainstay in Europe's Ryder Cup team, had watched his world ranking plummet out of the top 50 to 236 at the start of the BMW Asian Open.

He said his win on Sunday was the result of practising 10-12 hours a day.

"I've been working harder than I've ever worked on all aspects of my game. It's nice to see it pay off," he said.

"On the last green I gathered myself and said: 'Right, hit a good putt'. Luckily I did," a beaming Clarke said.

Derksen paid tribute to Clarke afterwards.

"Darren holed a good putt and that's his day," said Derksen, who was bidding for his third win on the European Tour.

"It was a great match... he's a great winner."

Clarke said he would now strive to return to the world's top 50 and get his place back in Europe's Ryder Cup team.

We say congratulations Clarke we’re glad to see you back on the way up. You can see why when Claude Harmon III dissects Darren’s swing in the next issue of GOLFPUNK out 06th May.

Click here for more details on getting GOLFPUNK delivered to your door.





4/28/2008 4:19:55 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, April 23, 2008
How to Gain Respect on the Golf Course (Without Practice)

Searching the web for blogable golf nonsense we came across this rib tickling bit of advice from master blogger Goochy. Enjoy.

"The golf course can be a very tricky place for any number of reasons. It is a sport very rich in prestige and tradition. And odds are, you are about to embarrass yourself once you set foot on that finely trimmed grass. Playing golf well commands a high level of respect from both your friends and spectators. A straight, long drive can take a seemingly overweight, alcohol swilling, cigar smoking man and turn him into an elite athlete (i.e. John Daly).

Clothes/Attire

The clothes make the man. The first thing that anyone will see when you arrive at the course, before you even step foot on the grass is your apparel. Dressing the part and having the appropriate accessories can gain you respect without you having to ever swing a club. The first thing we need to focus on is the pants. Pants are typically put on the back burner while people focus on buying flashy golf shirts. Instead, I recommend a nice pair of plaid knickers. This makes a bold statement which will draw attention to your pants and distract everyone from the final resting place of your drives. The plaid knickers allow you to pay homage to the dress of the originators of this great game. With the past covered below your waist, your shirt needs to be a very modern style. Bright flashy colors again are best, but steer clear of the clearance racks on this one. A bright green, sweat wicking shirt with arm pit ventilation can increase your comfort and overall look. Next, you are going to need accessories. A hat is a must, remember, bigger is better. Long socks are necessary and should bare a simple and elegant design. Shoes should be bright white and cleaned thoroughly before each round. Now, the most crucial ingredient in this entire equation is your glove. You must have a nice golf glove that is worn in but not beat up. Keeping in mind that you will only be wearing one glove, avoid anything with sparkles, while it may be pleasing to the eye this will cause people to hide their kids from you.

Clubs

Many people are going to invest lots of money in their clubs buying top of the line equipment, this is a waste of time. You should spend your money on getting the nicest golf bag you have ever set your eyes on. The more compartments the better. For guidance on what features to look for check out Rodney Dangerfield in “Caddyshack.” Once again this can be a distraction to keep other golfers from noticing your awful actual golfing abilities. Since you spent so much money on your bag you may be concerned about the lacking quality of clubs in your bag. I am here to give you the best solution to this problem. Many people like to put covers on their drivers. Why not extend that practice to all of your clubs? If one is good, more is better. Putting a cover on all of your clubs will make an exciting fashion statement and will allow you to conceal the true maker of your clubs (Wal-mart makes a fine club).


Lingo

Nothing demands respect on the golf course quite like a few, well used bits of meaningful terminology. Tossing around phrases like birdie and hole in one will not gain you the respect you are looking for. Instead, you are going to need to employ things like “I am going to have to hit a high draw around this strong dogleg, I want to stay out of that cabbage.” The fact that you know the strategy behind this shot and are able to express yourself in such technical terms totally takes away from the fact that you have no idea how to actually pull off this shot.

Sitting around the club house, decked out in your golf clothes sipping drinks and throwing around your new found golf phrases will make you a popular guy at the country club and earn you the respect you have been looking for. You will be able to impress your friends and business associates and will allow you to go golfing with important people without you feeling inadequate."

Check out more of Goochy's wisdom here.





4/23/2008 10:56:18 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [1] 

  Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Happy Days

During an afternoon pretending to do some work we were checking out clips from the legendary Happy Gilmore.

A fun way to spend your day we're sure you agree. About the time Bob Barker finished knocking seven bells out of Adam Sandler in another hilarious scene we thought back to the limited edition Oddessy Happy Gilmore Putter.



What a thing of beauty. Obviously if you had one in your bag you'd be laughed off tour but who wouldn't want one in their house?



The best way to get your hands on one is through eBay but we're going to badger Equipment Editor Daniel Owen into pulling every string he can until we can use one for a putting competition.




4/22/2008 3:27:19 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 
Golf's Latest Superhero

Total nonsense. But our kind of nonsense. So bad it's brilliant. Well done Top-flite.




The word on the street is the video was shown at their annual sales meeting. Our highlight has to be when D2 Man mentions a rival manufacturer and it's bleeped out like a swear.

Brilliant. 

Check out more at

4/22/2008 1:04:18 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Monday, April 21, 2008
Lorena Ochoa, Queen Of The Green

The grand slam is dead, long live the grand slam. Lorena Ochoa has a real shout at holding all four LPGA recognised majors. If she can maintain her form for another couple of months until the LPGA Championship in June not many would bet against her. The Mexican already has the Kraft Nabisco Championship, the first major of the year, on her mantelpiece and her weekend’s work show she’s in her pomp.

The world number one became the first LPGA Tour player in 45 years to win four tournaments in consecutive weeks at the Ginn Open in Orlando.

She trailed early in the final round, but went ahead for good with three consecutive birdies from the eighth finishing the day a three-under 69 to beat rookie Yani Tseng by three strokes.
"She's proven that she's our top player," said rival Paula Creamer. "She's set that mark pretty high."

Mickey Wright won four successive tournaments in 1962 and 1963.

Kathy Whitworth (1969) and Annika Sorenstam (2001) also won four consecutive events, but both took a week off during their runs.


"Just stick it down there with the rest."

Ochoa will give her colleagues a chance to take the spotlight next week when she sits out the Stanford Invitation Pro-Am in Florida.

Sorenstam (2004-05) and Nancy Lopez (1978) hold the tour record with five straight victories in events entered, but neither of those came in consecutive weeks. Lorena will try to make it five straight in two weeks in Tulsa, Oklahoma.



4/21/2008 11:22:01 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Friday, April 18, 2008
Friday Fun

Here is a bit of Friday fun to get your weekends of to a giggly start. This week a couple of golf gags with a religious slant. Don’t worry they shouldn’t offend.

God and St Peter decided on a round of golf in heaven
Peter is a testament to material values, decked out as he is in the latest golf fashion, with a brand new set of clubs and all the accoutrements.

God, in contrast, is a picture of virtue wearing his old gardening clothes and trailing a tatty old canvas bag with a real mixture of ancient and rusting clubs, some of which even have hickory shafts.

On the first hole St Peter smacks a beauty 275 yards straight down the middle.

God, however, tops his drive that trickles along the ground.
It only travels about 70 yards but just before it's about to stop a rabbit runs out of the gorse, grabs the ball in its mouth and hurtles off down the fairway while St Peter watches in astonishment.

Before the rabbit can reach safety, however, a magnificent eagle swoops down and snares the rabbit in its talons before rising majestically, the rabbit still struggling in its grasp but defiantly holding the golf ball in its mouth.

As the eagle soars over the green a bolt of a lightning from a clear blue sky strikes it, killing the bird instantly. It drops the rabbit, which in turn drops the golf ball, which strikes a sprinkler head at the side of the green and takes one bounce straight into the hole for an ace on a par-5 hole.

St Peter slowly turns and says to God: 'Are you going to show off all day or are we here to play golf?'



A young man and a priest are playing golf together. At a short par 3 the priest asks, 'What are you going to use on this hole, my son?'

The young man says, 'An iron, father. How about you?'

The priest says, 'I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray.'

The young man hits his iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, 'I don't know about you, father, but in my church when we pray we keep our heads down.'




4/18/2008 11:07:04 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Thursday, April 17, 2008
Oh Limp Picks

The fight for golf to become an Olympic sport might be old news, but that doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten about it and neither have the game’s figureheads. PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem backed the campaign on Tuesday, following Phil Mickelson and Masters chairman Billy Payne’s recent call for action.

In a blog posted on the PGA Tour’s website, Finchem argued that the addition of golf to the Olympics would promote the sport globally and create extra funding for youth programs worldwide. “By taking a leadership role, the PGA Tour can ensure that this is pursued with the best interests of our membership, tournaments, sponsors and television partners in mind.” He said.


Same again in 8 years time?

Sounds brilliant. Obviously it’s a bit late for Beijing now (and a shame because golf is exploding in the far East) but we’ll see golf in the 2012 games in London right? Well, no. Apparently the earliest it can be added is 2016, which means we won’t see the current crop of promising British talent competing on their home turf once they’ve matured into phenomenal golfers. Why on earth does it take so long to make a decision like this? Surely it’s just common sense?




4/17/2008 4:32:30 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [1] 
GP Wants You!

It goes against everything we’ve been taught in web marketing seminars but we have to tell you guys about a rival to our GP Appreciation Society on facebook.

Tom Ayling wrote to us to see if we minded him linking golfpunkonline.com to the society he created. Usually we’d try and make him join ours but when we had a look we could not help but open our hearts and contact books to help him out anyway we could.



It’s one of the most endearing things we’ve ever seen and will be probably be better than our GOLFPUNK society anyway.

Anyhoo, it’s not as if you have to choose between them, just join them both.

Check out the intro Tom penned to introduce people to the magical world of GP.

“Name: The Golf Punk Magazine Appreciation Society
Type: Sports & Recreation - Games
Description: We know that golf is a game not appreciated by all walks of life.
It was a dark time for golf, 4 years ago, it was an under-achieving sport.

This was where the best Magazine in the world came in, GolfPunk. To golf, it was the James Bond of detective films, mixing what you usually have, with something a tad different, which of course included the stunning girls, who fortunately for readers, appear frequently in swimwear and lingerie.

From then, making many followers from the Kirsty Gallacher issue, it was big.

Best Edited Magazine 2006(I Think).

I'll leave you golf punks with these GolfPunk Philosophies:
Attitude not Age
Keep Yourself Nice
And greeting people with "Evenin' " no matter what the time of day.

GolfPunk-
THE GOLF MAG FOR EVERYONE”

If you still need convincing you have a heart as cold as Steve Williams' stare.

Join the party by clicking here or going to http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12122613315




4/17/2008 12:00:20 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 

  Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tiger Has Knee Surgery

Tiger Woods had arthroscopic surgery on his left knee yesterday to repair cartilage damage, his second operation in five years on the joint. He is expected to miss at least a month.

The surgery came two days after Woodsy finished three shots behind Trevor Immelman in the Masters signifying the collapse of this years ‘grand slam’ dream. He’ll most likely miss The Players Championship, but should return in time to play the June 12-15 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines.

"Buggers, it's gone again."

Swing coach Hank Haney said he knew Woods' knee was bothering him, but was not aware of the surgery until Woods called him.

We in the office wish the best of luck and hope he gets well soon.

Don’t know if the rest of the field agree.



4/16/2008 10:31:36 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #  Comments [0] 


©Copyright 2008 Golfpunk Online

Page rendered at 7/4/2008 2:21:23 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)